書面體現(xiàn)講評(píng)

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假設(shè)你是星光中學(xué)李華，將參與主題為“Let’sRideBicycles”英語(yǔ)演講比賽。請(qǐng)撰寫一份演講稿，主要內(nèi)容包括：1.目前汽車帶來(lái)空氣污染和交通堵塞等問(wèn)題；2.騎自行車益處，如節(jié)能環(huán)境保護(hù)、有利健康等。參照詞匯：低碳生活（low-carbonlife）;節(jié)能(energysaving)注意：1.詞數(shù)：120字左右演講開(kāi)頭結(jié)尾已給出，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)。Goodmorning,everyone,IamLiHuafromXingguangMiddleSchool.Thetopicofmyspeechis“Let’sRideBicycles”…第2頁(yè)Goodmorning,everyone,IamLiHuafromXingguangMiddleSchool.Thetopicofmyspeechis“Let’sRideBicycles”.Asisknowtous,withthedevelopmentoftheeconomy,carshavebecomeapopularwayoftransport,whileittakesomeproblemssuchasairpollutionandtrafficjams.Mostpeopleknewwhatisthelow-carbonlife,butwhypeoplestillpolluteenviroment?Inmyoppion,usethebiketoworkinsteadcarisagoodwaytosaveenergy.Besides,usethebikecanmakeourbodymorestronger.Ihopeeveryoneintheearthshouldtakeactiontoimprovesituation.whynottodoit?分段時(shí)態(tài)拼寫語(yǔ)法第3頁(yè)影響給分主要原因：

文中所采取語(yǔ)言材料人靠衣裝文靠詞裝第4頁(yè)P(yáng)olishingA.WordsandexpressionsB.SentencepatternsC.Linkingwordsandphrases第5頁(yè)2、詞組優(yōu)先標(biāo)準(zhǔn)4、棄舊取新標(biāo)準(zhǔn)A.Wordsandexpressions四項(xiàng)基本原則1、地道標(biāo)準(zhǔn)四項(xiàng)基本原則1、地道標(biāo)準(zhǔn)四項(xiàng)基本原則2、詞組優(yōu)先標(biāo)準(zhǔn)1、地道標(biāo)準(zhǔn)四項(xiàng)基本原則2、詞組優(yōu)先標(biāo)準(zhǔn)四項(xiàng)基本原則4、棄舊取新標(biāo)準(zhǔn)四項(xiàng)基本原則4、棄舊取新標(biāo)準(zhǔn)3、同義多樣標(biāo)準(zhǔn)四項(xiàng)基本原則第6頁(yè)1、地道標(biāo)準(zhǔn)［原文］Drivingcarshastakensomeproblemssuchasairpollutionandtrafficjams.

[improve]Drivingcarshascaused/ledto/resultinmanyproblemssuchasairpollutionandtrafficjams.2、詞組優(yōu)先標(biāo)準(zhǔn)［原文］Ilikereading[improve]Iamintoreading.第7頁(yè)3、同義多樣標(biāo)準(zhǔn)［原文］Ridingbicyclesisgoodforourhealth.［improve］1.Wecanbenefitfromridingbicycles.2.Ridingbicyclesisbeneficialtoourhealth.4、棄舊取新標(biāo)準(zhǔn)[原文]Becauseofthequickdevelopmentofeconomy,…[improve]Withthequickdevelopmentofeconomytwowheels第8頁(yè)一、肯定不如雙否好二、陳說(shuō)不如倒裝巧三、單句不如復(fù)句妙四、從句不如短語(yǔ)傲B.Sentencepatterns四個(gè)“不如”第9頁(yè)[原文]Itisagoodchoiceforustoridebicycles.[improve]Thereisnodoubt/denyingthatridingbicycleisawisechoice.Wecannotemphasize(強(qiáng)調(diào))theimportanceofprotectingenvironmenttoomuch.[translation]再…也不為過(guò)一、肯定不如雙否好(doublenegative)第10頁(yè)[原文]weshouldtakeactiontoimproveourcurrentsituation…[improve]

Onlybytakingactionshouldweimproveourcurrentsituation...二、陳說(shuō)不如倒裝巧(inversion)第11頁(yè)[原文]carshavebecomeapopularwayoftransport.Itbringsusconveniencetoourlife.[improveitusingattributiveclause]Carshavebecomeapopularwayoftransport,whichbringsusconveniencetoourlife.三、單句不如復(fù)句妙(compoundsentences)第12頁(yè)四、從句不如短語(yǔ)傲(phrases)[improve]

Carshavebecomeapopularwayoftransport,whichbringsusconveniencetoourlife.

[Furtherimprove]CarshavebecomeapopularWayoftransport,bringingusconvenienceinlife.第13頁(yè)[原文]Whenwefacetheproblems,howcanwesolveit?[improve]Facing/facedwiththeproblems,howcanwesolveit?第14頁(yè)C.Linkingwordsandphrases有效地使用了語(yǔ)句間連接成份，使全文構(gòu)造緊湊第15頁(yè)Goodmorning,everyone,I’mLiHuafromXingguangMiddleSchool.Thetopicofmyspeechis“Let’sRideBicycles.”Introduction:

Asweknow,…airpollutionandtrafficjams.Facedwiththeproblems,…Body:Foronething

ForanotherConclusion:Therefore,…

Ladiesandgentlemen,Let’s

…Thankyou!第16頁(yè)Readthiscompositionagain.Firstcorrectthemistakesandthenpolishitaccordingtowhatyouhavelearntintheclass.Goodmorning,everyone,IamLiHuafromXingguangMiddleSchool.Thetopicofmyspeechis“Let’sRideBicycles”.Asisknowtous,withthedevelopmentoftheeconomy,carshavebecomeapopularwayoftransport,whileittakesomeproblemssuchasairpollutionandtrafficjams.Mostpeopleknewwhatisthelow-carbonlife,butwhypeoplestillpolluteenviroment?Inmyoppion,usethebiketoworkinsteadcarisagoodwaytosaveenergy.Besides,usethebikecanmakeourbodymorestronger.Ihopeeveryoneintheearthshouldtakeactionstoimprovesituation.whynottodoit?第17頁(yè)Goodmorning,everyone,I’mLiHuafromXingguangMiddleSchool.Thetopicofmyspeechis“Let’sRideBicycles.”

Asweknow,witheconomyprogressinginaflash,carshavebecomeapopularmeansoftransport,bringingusconvenienceinlife.However,theyhavecausedsomeproblemssuchasairpollutionandtrafficjams.

Facedwiththeproblems,howcanwesolvethem?Thereisnodenyingthatridingbicyclesisawisechoice.

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Foronething,bicyclesareenvironmentallyfriendlybecausetheydon’tproduceharmfulgases.Foranother,ridingbicyclesisbeneficialtoourhealth.

Therefore,onlybytakingactioncanweimproveourcurrentsituationandcreatealow-carbonlife.Ladiesandgentlemen,Let’sdoittogetherrightnow!第19頁(yè)Summary

詞匯選擇地道新奇，出奇制勝;

句型構(gòu)造靈活多變，錯(cuò)落有致;

連接詞利用自然巧妙，行文流暢

language

（correctbeautiful)