考向41讀后續(xù)寫之外貌、性格與環(huán)境描寫

在讀寫續(xù)寫過程中，在沿用原文語言特點(diǎn)的情況下，圍繞原文主旨，續(xù)寫部分可利用恰當(dāng)?shù)脑~語描述人物的

外貌、性格和周圍的環(huán)境，豐富續(xù)寫情節(jié)，從而進(jìn)一步提升續(xù)寫語篇的可讀性。

第一部分外貌性格描寫

一、外貌性格描寫的3個原則

①進(jìn)行外貌描寫時，可寫對一個人的總體印象，也可以抓住人物重要的外貌特征或性格特點(diǎn)進(jìn)行描述。如攻

略3例題原文中第一段對媽媽性格的描寫，采用了loving,sweet,absent-minded和forgetful等形容詞，使一個可

愛又健忘的媽媽的形象躍然紙上。

②可以具體描述人物的五官、著裝，甚至可以配上動作描述。

③在描寫人物片段時，可寫你對人物印象最深的一兩點(diǎn)，再加上一兩句人物評價。

二、外貌與性格描寫的高分素材

（一）外貌描寫

（1）她圓圓的臉上有一雙藍(lán)色的眼睛，還有兩個可愛的酒窩。

①Onherroundfaceareapairofblueeyesandlovelydimples.6到裝句型）

②Sheisagirlwithapairofblueeyesandlovelydimplesonherroundface.（with引導(dǎo)的介賓結(jié)構(gòu)作后置定語，

補(bǔ)充說明人物信息）

（2）李老師三十多歲，身材適中，常梳著馬尾辮。

①M(fèi)issLiisinherthirtieswithamediumbuildandhasherhairinaponytail.（由and連接的并歹！J句；with短語用

作狀語，表示伴隨狀態(tài)）

②MissLiisamedium-sizedwomaninherthirtieswhooftenwears/tiesherhairinaponytail.（定語從句補(bǔ)充介紹

人物特征）

③MissLi,inherthirties,isofmediumsize,andoftenhasherhairtiedinaponytail.（41beof+adj.+n.”結(jié)構(gòu)

表示人或物具有某種特征。常用的名詞有：size,height,weight,build,age,shape等）

（二）性格描寫

?SuchisMs.Han,aneasygoing,kindandwarm-heartedwoman.

韓老師是一個隨和善良又熱心腸的女人。

?Thoughheesfromapoorfamily,heisapersonofgreatdeterminationandcourage.

他雖出身貧寒，但擁有堅強(qiáng)的意志和勇氣。

第二部分環(huán)境描寫

一、環(huán)境描寫的4個原則

①選擇與主題和情節(jié)設(shè)置一致的環(huán)境要素，以營造故事發(fā)生的特定環(huán)境。

②細(xì)致深入。所選的景物一定要運(yùn)用所學(xué)的詞匯和句法進(jìn)行細(xì)致深入的描寫。

③添加附加信息，如天氣變化和周邊的景物等，如昏暗的路燈、搖曳的樹影等。

④環(huán)境細(xì)節(jié)描寫一定要與動作和心理活動等相結(jié)合，才能更好地完成續(xù)寫任務(wù)。

例如：攻略3第一段續(xù)寫中可適當(dāng)描寫一下在帳篷中過夜時周圍的環(huán)境，突出作者內(nèi)心的祥和、快樂。

二、環(huán)境描寫的高分素材

①Itwasbeginningtosnow,andsnowflakeswereblindingmyeyes.

天開始下雪了，雪花讓我看不清了。

②Thesunwasbreakingthroughtheblanketofmist.

太陽穿過薄霧。

?Summerseesthemountainsturnbrightgreenwithgrowingrice.Duringautumn,thesesamemountainsareflash

gold,andinwintertheyarecoveredinsheetsofwhitefrost.

夏天，水稻生長群山綠意盎然。秋天漫山鋪金，冬天銀裝素裹。

④Alittlewayoffwasalittlebrook,rushingandsparklingalongbetweengreenbanks.

不遠(yuǎn)處有一條小溪，在綠色的兩岸之間奔流不息，波光粼粼。

【典例示例】1（2017.浙江高考11月卷改編）

閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。續(xù)寫的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150

左右o

AVacationwithMyMother

Ihadaninterestingchildhood:Itwasfilledwithsurpriseandamusements,allbecauseofmymother-loving,

sweet,andyetabsent-mindedandforgetful.OnestrangefamilytripwetookwhenIwaseleventellsalotabouther.

MytwosetsofgrandparentslivedinColoradoandNorthDakota,andmyparentsdecidedtospendafewweeks

drivingtothosestatesandseeingallthesightsalongtheway.Asthefirstdayofourtripapproached,David,my

eight-year-oldbrother,andIunwillinglysaidgood-byetoallofourfriends.Whoknewifwe*deverseethemagain?

Finally,themomentofourdeparturearrived,andweloadedsuitcases,books,games,campingequipment,andatentinto

thecarandbravelydroveoff.Webravelydroveoffagaintwohourslaterafterwe'dreturnedhometogetthepurseand

traveler'schecksMomhadforgotten.

DavidandIwerealwaysalittlenervouswhenusinggasstationbathroomsifMomwasdrivingwhileDadslept.

“YoustandoutsidethedoorandplaylookoutwhileIgo,andPllstandoutsidethedoorandplaylookoutwhileyougo."I

hadterriblepicturesinmymind:"Honey,wherearethekids?”"What?1Oh,Gosh...Ithoughttheywerebeing

awfullyquiet.^^Wewereneveractuallyleftbehindinastrangecity,butweweren'tabouttotakeanychances.

Onthefourthorfifthnight,wehadtroublefindingahotelwithavacancy.Afterdrivinginvainforsometime,

Momsuddenlygotagreatidea:Whydidn'twefindahousewithalikely-lookingbackyardandaskifwecouldsetupthe

tentthere?DavidandIbecamenervous.Toourgreatrelief,Dadturneddowntheidea.Momnevercouldunderstandour

objections.Ifastrangefamilyshoweduponherfrontdoorsteps,Momwouldhavebeendelighted.Shethinkseveryone

intheworldasniceassheis.Wefinallyfoundavacancyinthenexttown.

Paragraph1

Thenextdaywerememberedthebrand-newtentwehadbroughtwithus.

Paragraph2

Wedrovethroughseveralstatesandsawlotsofgreatsightsalongtheway.

【描寫刻畫】

1.細(xì)讀原文，明確敘述意圖

原文基調(diào)輕松、溫暖。通過介紹一次出游經(jīng)歷，描述媽媽健忘、心不在焉、善良、愛孩子的性格特征。第一

段概括媽媽的性格特征；第二段以媽媽遺落錢包的事情來說明媽媽健忘；由第三段擔(dān)心媽媽遺忘孩子的事，說明

媽媽心不在焉，同時側(cè)面反映孩子的靠譜、沉穩(wěn)；由最后一段倒數(shù)第二和第三句可看出媽媽很善良。

根據(jù)人物性格特征，結(jié)合續(xù)寫第二段首句可推測，續(xù)寫時應(yīng)設(shè)計一件有趣的事來體現(xiàn)“快樂、母愛、溫情、

親情”。

2.根據(jù)段落開頭語，確定續(xù)寫方向

※根據(jù)續(xù)寫第一段首句中的關(guān)鍵詞“werememberedthebrand-newtent”可知，該段應(yīng)著重描寫圍繞帳篷發(fā)生的

有趣的故事。

※根據(jù)續(xù)寫第二段首句中的關(guān)鍵詞“alongtheway”可推斷第二段可描述一路上媽媽對孩子的關(guān)愛。結(jié)合首句

中關(guān)鍵詞"greatsights”，可簡單進(jìn)行環(huán)境描寫與原文呼應(yīng)。

3.圍繞原文主旨，進(jìn)行人物性格和環(huán)境描寫

①在描寫母親時，以原文對母親性格的描寫為依據(jù)，描述一件小事突出母親的健忘和心不在焉；也利用一些

描述性的詞語，如read、sing、warmth>fortable、safe、laughter等描寫旅途中母親所表現(xiàn)出的母愛。這些描寫能

使母親的形象更加豐滿、高大，“母愛”溢于言表。

②根據(jù)原文標(biāo)題中的關(guān)鍵詞vacation,和原文第二段中的“allhersightsalongtheway”,可推斷出續(xù)寫部分可

適當(dāng)進(jìn)行環(huán)境描寫，體現(xiàn)和母親共度假期的快樂，一家人的親情。

【參考范文】

Paragraph1

Thenextdaywerememberedthebrand-newtentwehadbroughtwithus.Mominsistedthatweshouldmakefull

useofitsincewehadbroughtit.DavidandIlookedatDad,hopinghecouldrefusehercrazyideaagain,buttoourgreat

disappointment,heagreedwithMom'sidea.Sowesetupthetentatthefootofthemountainbyariver."Oh,Iforgotthe

pillows!”Momscreamedoutbeforeweslept.Finally,wehadtocollectsomegrassasourpillows.Despitetheacheof

myneck,Ienjoyedthenicenightwithfreshairandmillionsofstars.

Paragraph2

Wedrovethroughseveralstatesandsawlotsofgreatsightsalongtheway.Thetentbecameaclosefriendthen.

Everytimewecamped,Momreadabookorsangasoftsong.Thewarmthofherarmsletusfeelfortableandsafe.

Thoughshewasforgetfulandabsent-minded,laughteracpaniedusalongtheway.Finallywemetourtwosetsof

grandparentsandenjoyedfamilyhappiness.Thistripmademeexperiencemymother'sandfamily'slove.

【檢測訓(xùn)練】

1.閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

MynameisManan,andIaminthesixthgrade.Ofallthefestivals,DiwalisaHindufestivalthatiscelebratedin

autumn,ismyfavoritebecauseIcansetofffireworksandeatdeliciousfoodsduringthefestival.

Oneday,Iwentshoppingforfireworkswithmygrandfather.Iwaslookingatthebrightlycoloredfireworkswhen

suddenlyIbumpedintoalittleboy.Allmyfireworksscatteredoutofthebag.

Iquicklybentdowntopickthemup.ThenInoticedtheboy'sfacewasfullofwonderandamazementashestared

atmyfireworks.Itappearedasthoughhehadneverseenanythisclosely.Whenhebentdowntopickthemup,I

snatchedthemfromhimandquicklyputthembackinmybag.AsIstoodtherelookingathim,Irealizedtherewas

somethingdifferentaboutthisboy.Hisclotheswereoldandtorn;helookedasthoughhehadnoteatenforafewdays.

Onreachinghome,Ifinishedmydinnerquicklyandranouttosetoffthefireworks.Iwasfascinatedbythevariety

ofcolorsthatburstopenfromthefireworksandlitupthesky,butmywonderwasshortlived.Inoticedthatmy

grandfatherhadgoneinsidethehousecoughing.Wonderingwhy,Ilookedaroundandnoticedallthesmokethatmay

havebeenirritatinghisthroat.Feelingbadforonlyasecond,Icontinuedlightingthefireworksoneafteranother.But,

insideme,itfeltdifferent-Ifeltguiltyabouttakingpleasurefromburstingthefireworks.

Icouldfeelmyconscienceprickingme,ctManan!Howcanyoudothis?Itjusttakesafewminutesforallthe

moneytodisappearinsmoke,buttheboyyoumettodaylookedlikehedidnotevenhavethebasicnecessitiesoflife.

Thechildreninorphanagesalsoneedloveandhelp.Didn'tyouseehowyourfireworkshaveaffectedGrandpatoo?Can

youstillignorethesethingsandindulgeinthiskindoffiin?”Realizingtheworthlessnessofthistemporarypleasure,I

reallywantedtousethemoneyinamorerewardingway.IstartedthinkingaboutmyownwaytocelebrateDiwali.

注意：

1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；

2.請按如下格式在相應(yīng)位置作答。

Iwentuptomygrandfatherandtoldhimaboutmyplan.

Soonenough,theorphanagewasfilledwithlaughterjoyandcelebration.

2.閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

Sometimesthingsmayseembeyondourefforts,butkeeponandyouwillfindbeautifulviewsinfrontofyou.

Iwasonmysecondoutdoorexperiencetripthateverystudenthadtogoon.Thatyear,wehadachoiceofwhat

difficultylevelwewanted:onethroughfive.MyfriendsandIhadagreedthatonewouldmakeusseemlazyandthat

challengingourselveswouldmakeforagoodstory.Inchoosingleveltwo,webelievedthatitwouldstillbeafun

experience.

Wewerequicklyprovenwrong.

ThefurtherwedroveintotheWhiteMountains,thehigherthewallsoneithersideofthewindinghighwaygrew.I

wasstillinaweofthemountainsIhadseensomanytimesbefore,butIcouldn'thelpfeelingmyheartshakingwith

anxiety.SoonIwouldhavetoleavetheschoolbusthatbrought50studentsoutintothewildernesslikeeveryyear

before.

Mygroupconsistedofmyfriends,RileyandAnn,andsixextremelyathleticboys.Wearrivedatbasecamplodge

（木屋）first.Afterputtingthingsasideandrearrangingourbags,wemadeourwayoutintothewilderness.

Thethreeofusgirlswerequestioningifthiswasreallyaleveltwo.Thepathwasunbelievablysteep（陡峭）and

rockytowardthetopofthemountainwherethefirsthutwaslocated.Wewerepracticallyjogginginanattempttokeep

upwiththeboysaheadofus.Beforethetrip,weweretoldtotakebreaksasoftenasweneededtodrinkwater,butthat

wasn'thelpingourpoundingheartsandheavybreathingasmuchasitshouldhave.

Then,30minutesintothemostdifficulthikethethreeofushadeverdone,Rileyslippedandlandedonherknee.

Afterafewmoments,weturnedbackdownthemountainasitwasdecidedthatRileycouldnotmakethetripwithus.

WesatonthegrassoutsidethelodgewherewehadstartedwhileRileywasbroughtinsidetojointhelevelonegroup.

AnnandIexchangedbreathlessglances,ourcheeksredandwetwithsweat.

注意：1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；

2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。

“Doyouthinkweshouldaskifwecouldjointhelevelonegrouptoo?”IaskedAnn.

Thenextdays,althoughextremelytired,wekepton.

3.閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

“AtthebeginningoftheCOVID19,1wentthroughsomepainfulpersonalstuffandwouldoftengooutatnightfor

longwalksbecausenoonewasaroundandIcouldn'tsleepanyway,“KellywroteonTwitter.

“OnenightIwaswalkingdownmystreetandnoticedthatsomeonehadsetupafewlittleobjectsinatreeplanter

anduponcloserinspection,Irealizeditwasafairygardenwithalittlenoteaboutthe4yearoldgirl,Eliana,whofelt

lonelyinquarantine（隔離期）andwantedtospreadsomecheer.^^

KellywroteanotetoElianapretendingtobeafairynamedSapphirethathadetoliveinthetree.4<IsaidIwould

giftheramagicalfairydice（骰子）ifshedid3thingsforme,“Kellysaid.Kellyputthenoteinasmallbottlefilledwith

glitterandplaceditinthegarden,unsureifshewouldgetaresponse.

Thenextday,shefoundahandwrittenletterfromElianaexplainingshehadpletedallofSapphire*stasks.Kellysaid

sheimmediatelyburstintotears.t4SoIleftabunchofmydicethathadsmallimperfectionsandleftheranothernoteand

alsoalittleextranoteforherparentswithmynameandphonenumbersotheycouldcontactmeandknowIwasn*tsome

badpersonleavingnotesfortheirsmallchild,“Kellysaid.

“DoingthiseverynightgavemepurposeinahorriblypainfulandlonelyKellysaid."Ilookedforwardtomy

daysagainandstartedorderingartsuppliesandlittletoystoleaveher.”

“Wewrotebackandforththroughoutthelast9months,helpingeachotherfeellesslonelyandIgottochatwithher

momviatexttomakesuremygiftswerealittlemorepersonal.

注意：

1.續(xù)寫的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；

2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。

Thegirl'smothertoldKellythattheyweremovingtoanothercity.

Thegirl'smotherpreferredKellytoactasafairytosaygoodbyetoherdaughter.

4.閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

IwasbomandgrewupinthenorthofScotland,whichwasnotfarfromthesea.WhenIwaslittle,Ienjoyedthe

seasidesceneryverymuch.Ioftensatontherockbytheseaandwatchedtheviewofthesea.Iwasfondofplayingwith

thesandonthebeachandchasedthewaveswithmyoldsister,Alastair.

Acrossthebeachtherewasatidal（潮汐）island,whichmeansthatwhenthetidegoesout,youcanwalktoit,but

whenthetideesinagain,youcan'tgettoit.MumandDadneverletusgothere.Theytoldusthatitwasdangerous.

However,thetidalislandwasfullofmysterytome.Isaidtomyself“Theremustbesomefascinatingsceneryworth

exploring.HowIwishIhadachancetolandonit!”

OnalittlecolddayinOctober,whilemyparentswereawayforafriend?swedding,mysisterwasdeterminedto

takemetothebeachnearourhouse,wherewewouldhaveagoodtime.Iwantedtobuildsandcastles.

Whenwearrivedatthebeach,thetidewasout.Weranonthebeachbackandforthandenjoyedourselvesvery

much.Withthehelpofmysister,Imadeseveralsandcastlesofdifferentshapes.Feelingalittletired,Isatonthebeach

forabreak.Isawthetidalislandopposite,whichlookedveryniceintheautumnsunshine.

“Let'sgotoexplorethetidalisland,Alastair/91saidtomysister.

“That'sagoodidea.ButMumandDadsaidwecouldn't.Maybewewon'treturnsafely!9,Alastairsaid.

“Don'tworry!We'lltrytoreturnbeforethetideesinagain.^^IbeggedAlastair.

Finallysheagreed.Wereturnedhomeandbroughtsomepeanutbuttersandwichesandabottleofmilkwithus.

注意：

1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；

2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。

Thenwesetoffforthetidalisland.

Thetidecameinandcoveredthebeachandthewaterwastoodeepandcoldforme.

5.閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

Finally,thebellrang."Don'tforgettopracticeyourclasspresentationathome!”MissBellacriedaseveryone

startedtalkingandpackingtheirschoolbags.Jessyfeltsick.Shehatedhavingtoreadaloudinclass.Shewassure

everyonegotreallyboredlisteningtoher.Once,whenJessywasreadingoutherholidaydiary,Leewasevenlookingat

hiswatch,asilverandblueonewhichseemedjustmagical.

JessywatchedLeewalkaheadofherastheyleftschool.Heseemedsoclever,andhehadacertainsortofshining

confidence.Hewasjustoneofthosepeoplewhoweregoodateverything.Jessysighed.Assheturnedthecorner,she

sawLee'swatchlyingrightinthemiddleofthepath.

Jessyknewsheshouldjustpickitupandreturnittohim,butshedidn'twanttorunafterhim.Jessybentdown

quickly,pickedupthewatchandranhome.Onarrivinghome,Jessyputitonalmostwithoutthinking.Shewassurprised

itfittedsowell.Shewalkedtothemirrorandstartedpracticingherspeech.Wordsjustfloodedoutofher."I'mgoingto

talkaboutswimming.Ihavebeenlucky.I'vewonlotsofpetitions.ButwhenI'minarace,I'mnotreallythinkingabout

winning.Tmjustlovingthefeelingofbeinginthewater...9,Jessylaughedwithexcitement.Shewalkedacrosstheroom.

Shesuddenlyseemedtohaveacertainsortofconfidence.Turningbacktothemirror,Jessysawaflashoflightfromthe

watchintheglass.Theflashesofsilverseemedalmostmagical.SomaybeLee'swatchreallyDIDhavesomething

magicaboutit.

Thenextday,asthelessonbegan,MissBellaaskedwhowasgoingtobebraveandgofirst.Nobodymoved.Jessy

slowlyraisedherarm.BeforeMissBellacouldsayanything,therewasashoutfrombehind."She'sstolenmywatch!,?

Leesaidangrily,66Itwentmissingatschoolyesterday.^^

注意：1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；

2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。

EverybodywasfixingtheireyesonJessy,waitingforanexplanation.

MissBellasmiledandaskedtheclasstolistentoJessysspeechfirst.

6.閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

Itwastheswimseason,butElizabethdidn'tlikeswimmeets.Shegothorriblynervousbutnotbecauseshewanted

towin.Hernervescamefromthepossibilitythatshewoulddosomethinghorriblywrongandleteveryonedown.The

dayofameet,shewouldbescaredallday.

Recently,Elizabeth'steamannouncedaspecialswimnight:Members11andolderwouldswimatimed50meters

inallfourstrokesandthenhavepizza.Itwasn'texactlyameet,becauseitwouldinvolveonlyteammembers.Elizabeth

counteredthatitabsolutelywasameetbecausetherewouldberacesandtimersandsoon.Buthermotherreallywanted

hertogo.Shefoughtbackfuriouslybutfinallyagreed.

Whenthedayofthespecialswimnightarrived,Elizabethwasnervous.Whenshegottothepoolwithherparents,

shebecameevenmorenervous.

Herfirstracewasthe50meterfreestyle.Sheswamherbackstrokeandbreaststrokewithoutincident.Itwasn'tfun

forElizabeth.Herbutterfliesjustkeptflapping.

ThenitwastimefortheTshirtrelay,whichworkslikethis:OnepersonfromeachrelayteamputsonaTshirt,apair

ofsocks,andaswimcap;swims50meters;andgetsoutofthepool.Shetakesofftheclothesandputsthemonthenext

person,whothenswims50meters.Thiscontinuesuntileveryoneontheteamhaspletedalap.

Forsomeunknownreason,Elizabeth'srelayteamchosehertoswimtheanchorleg（最后一棒）.Theteamdressed

herinsocksandaTshirt.Andthenshewasoff.SheseemedtoswimfasterintheTshirtandsocksthanshedidwhenshe

wasn'twearingthem.

Approachingthehalfwaymark,shewasstillinthelead.ThensomebodynoticedthatoneofElizabeth'ssockshad

fallenoffandwasfloatinginthepool."Shehastogetthatsockonbeforetheendoftherace,^^