讀后續(xù)寫：救人型

Parti：經(jīng)典例文（鐵軌救嬰兒）...................................

Part2：救人故事構(gòu)造三部曲.......................................4

第一步：救人之前（惡劣環(huán)境+負(fù)面情緒）.......................4

第二步：救人之中（努力+救人動作+如釋重負(fù)）..................5

第三步：救人之后（感激+升華）...............................6

Part3：靈活應(yīng)用.................................................7

例1：河中救人...............................................7

例2：海邊救人...............................................9

讀后續(xù)寫很多時候會涉及自然災(zāi)害與防范、安全常識與自我保護的話題，會經(jīng)常

涉及到危難之際，挺身而出救助他人的故事。在這個話題中有時會寫到危難之際，利

用所學(xué)急救知識，成功救人脫離生命危險的故事；有時會寫到樓內(nèi)突發(fā)火災(zāi)，警察/

群眾舍己救人的故事；有時會寫到群眾/路人遇到有人不幸溺水，鼓足勇氣跳入水中

施救的的故事。

Parti：經(jīng)典例文（鐵軌救嬰兒）

Itwas7a.m.on12May1998.Mohrhadalreadyscannedseveralpackageslistingdangerous

materialsaboardthetrain.Thepresenceofgaswouldmeantakingextraprecautionwhenbraking

the6,200tontrain.Withexplosivegasonboard,itwouldbedisastrousifthetraincameoffthe

track.Afterafinalinspection,Mohrjumpedaboard.Hewasheadingeast,intoasunthatpromised

abeautifuldayfortheir276kmruntoPeru,Indiana.

Ataroundnoonthatday,Marshallpreparedtotacklesomeyardwork.Itwasabeautifulday

forit,shethought,gazingpastthehousesacrossthestreet.Some45metersaway,railroadtracks

shoneinthesun.

Marshallbeganworkinginapatch（地塊）ofsoil.Sittingnexttoher,cheerfullyrunningher

handsthroughdirt,washer19montholddaughter,Emily.Forawhile,shekeptturningtocheckon

Emily,whoplayedcloseathand.Eventually,though,MarshalFsabsorptioninherworkbecame

total.

MohrapproachedthetownwhereMarshalllivedatabout1:45p.m.andslowedthetrainto

the40kmphspeedlimit.Heactivatedtheflashinglightsandwarningbell.Mohrhadbeenthrough

thetownhundredsoftimes,buthegrewextracautiousroundingthefirstcurve.

Asthetraincameoutofthecurve,Mohrnoticedasmalldotonthetrackabout200meters

ahead.Hethoughtitmightbeadog.Althoughitwasagainsttherulestodosointhetown,he

beganlightlytappinghishorn.Heon,puppy,move,'*heurged.

Thetoots（嘟嘟響）ofatrainwhistlestartled（使受驚嚇）Marshallfromheryardwork.

That'sodd,shethought.Theydon'tusuallyblowthewhistlethroughtown.Sheglancedoverto

checkherdaughter,andherheartskipped.Emilywasnowhereinsight.

Now,asthetrainapproachedwithin100metersoftheobjectontherail,Mohrnarrowedhis

eyes,tryingtomakeoutwhatexactlywaslyingahead.Thenshockranthroughhimlikeelectric

current.

注意：1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；

2.應(yīng)使用5個以上短文中標(biāo)有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語：

3.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語已為你寫好；

4.續(xù)寫完成后，請用下劃線標(biāo)出你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞語。

Para1

"MyGod!Hheyelledasatinyfaceturnedtowardshim."It'sababy!”

Para2

Thechildwasnowjust36metersahead.

【答案】

Para1

"MyGod!"heyelledasatinyfaceturnedtowardshim."It'sababy!”Mohrhadaninstantdecision

tomake,applyingfullemergencybrakeswithhalfthetrainstillwrappedaroundacurve.Hehad

toriskanemergencystop.Hardashetry,thetrainkeptmovingjustasacatsawafish,whose

enticingsmellattractedthecattoapproachthebaby.Meanwhile,Marshallrushedtowardsher

daughter,nervousbutdesperate,fearingthetrainwouldrunintoherbeloved.

“我的上帝啊！”他像一張小臉轉(zhuǎn)向他時大聲喊道?！斑@是個嬰兒！”莫爾立即做出了決定，實

施了緊急剎車，一半的火車仍然繞在彎道上。他不得不冒著緊急停車的危險。在他的努力中，

火車?yán)^續(xù)移動，就像一只貓看到了一條魚，它誘人的氣味吸引了貓接近嬰兒。與此同時，馬

歇爾沖向緊張但絕望的女兒，擔(dān)心火車會撞到她的愛人。

Para2

Thechildwasnowjust36metersahead.Mohrpulledthebrakewithhiswholeefforts.The

soundofwheelsgrindingagainsttherailsrangthroughthesky.Thesituationwasquite

dangerous.Asthetrainwasalmoststopped,heimmediatelyopenedtheleftdooroftheenginecab

quicklyandswiftlyjumpedfromthemovingtrainandranbacktothechild.Shelaycryingbythe

tracks.AgreatreliefsweepingoverMohr,heliftedherfromthedirthurriedly.Itwasonlythenthat

MohrnoticedthetrainhadstoppedandMarshallwasjustingtoherbaby.Withthebabyinhis

arms,Mohrbegantowalktowardsthemother.

這個孩子現(xiàn)在只有前面36米遠(yuǎn)。莫爾竭盡全力地拉下了剎車。車輪撞擊鐵軌的聲音響徹天

空。情況很危險。當(dāng)火車快停下來時，他立即打開駕駛室的左門，迅速從行駛的火車上跳下

來，跑回孩子身邊。她躺在鐵軌邊哭泣。他使莫爾松了一口氣，急忙把她從泥土里抬了起來。

直到那時，莫爾才注意到火車已經(jīng)停了下來，馬歇爾正要來接她的孩子。莫爾抱著孩子，開

始向母親走去。

【分析】

本文以人物為線索展開，講述了火車司機Mohr,在一次駕駛火車全速前進時，他注意到遠(yuǎn)

處的鐵軌上有個黑點，他以為是一條狗，后來證實這個黑點是一個嬰兒。他要在保證火車安

全的情況下，救下這個嬰兒。

【詳解】

1.段落續(xù)寫：

①由第一段首句內(nèi)容“我的上帝！”當(dāng)一張小臉轉(zhuǎn)向他時，他大叫起來。“是個嬰兒！”，可知，

第一段可描寫火車司機Mohr的心理感受及其采取的措施，同時可以描寫嬰兒媽媽Mashall

的現(xiàn)場反應(yīng)。

②由第二段首句內(nèi)容“這時火車距離嬰兒只有36米了?！笨芍?，第二段可描寫火車司機Mohr

努力減速火車直至火車停下，然后救嬰兒，最終嬰兒平安得救。

2.續(xù)寫線索：看見嬰兒——決定剎車——跳車救孩子——孩子得救

3.詞匯激活

行為類

①.做決定：makeadecision/makeuphismind/keepinmindthat

②.殺ij車：pullthebrake/stopthetrainwitheffort

③.救孩子：savethechild/rescuethechild/savethebaby'slife

情緒類

焦急：anxious/haveone*sheartinone'smouth

【點睛】

[高分句型1].Mohrhadaninstantdecisiontomake,applyingfullemergencybrakeswithhalfthe

trainstillwrappedaroundacurve.（applying…為現(xiàn)在分詞作狀語）

[高分句型2].Hardashetry,thetrainkeptmovingjustasacatsawafish,whoseenticingsmell

attractedthecattoapproachthebaby,（as引導(dǎo)的讓步狀語從句，whose之后為非限制性定語從

句）

Part2：救人故事構(gòu)造三部曲

第一步：救人之前（惡劣環(huán)境+負(fù)面情緒）

1、惡劣環(huán)境

（1）一到晚夏，池塘就會被綠色的起泡浮渣覆蓋。有時候，池塘里冒出一陣強烈的難聞的

味道。Inlatesummer,thepondwouldbecoveredbyagreenandbubblyscum（起泡的浮渣）.

Sometimesastrong,unpleasantsmellrosefromit.

（2）在池塘中間，冰面忽然露出了一條裂縫。

Inthemiddleofthepond,theicegavewaywithasuddencrack.

（3）空氣里彌漫著濃厚灼熱的味道。Athickburningsmellfilledtheair.

2、負(fù)面情緒：害怕

（1）Watchingtheshoreinthedistance,Ifeltpowerless（無力的）asifwewerebrokentinyboatsat

themercyofstrongwaves.

（2）Exhaustedandcold,thethoughtthatwemightdiehereflashedacrossmymind，

whichmademequiverwithanuncontrollableterror/horror/fright（難以控制地發(fā)抖）

（4）Lookingatthevastsea,Ifeltasenseoffearsurgingthroughmywholebody（在身體涌動）

第二步：救人之中（努力+救人動作+如釋重負(fù)）

1、?掙扎努力

（1）Tomlookedthoughtful（若有所思）

（2）“Weneedtothinkoutaway!”Imuttered（喃喃自語），scratchingmyhead.（絞盡腦汁）

（3）...,Weswamtoothandnail（全力以赴地）.

2.救人有關(guān)的驚險場面描寫

（1）ThenextthingIknewIwashangingontotheedgeofaholeintheicebyarmsoutstretchedon

theice.FrommyshouldersdownIhunginicywater.

（2）Itriedtoclimboutofthehole,butwhenIgotakneeontheice,itbrokelikewindowglass（像

玻璃一樣破裂）.（浙江省十校聯(lián)盟考試?yán)m(xù)寫2020.10）

（3）Asthecoatbecamepletelywet,itdraggedmedown什巴我拖下水）.Iwastiredofthestruggle

andrestedwithmyarmsstretchedoutontheice.（浙江省十校聯(lián)盟考試?yán)m(xù)寫2020.10）

3實施救援的過程

（1）“幫我把西蒙斯弄下車！”諾伍德對驚慌失措的朋友們大聲喊道。（2021年山東新高考質(zhì)

量測評聯(lián)盟）

“HelpmegetSimmonsoutofthecar!”Norwoodyelledloudlytoherfriends,whowereleftina

panic.諾伍德和朋友們把西蒙斯從車?yán)锢顺鰜?，把他放在一個安全并且離車有點遠(yuǎn)的地

方。

（2）盡管緊張而焦慮，諾伍德努力讓自己鎮(zhèn)靜下來，對西蒙斯進行了急救。（2021年山東新

高考質(zhì)量測評聯(lián)盟）

Nervousandanxious,Norwoodstruggledtocalmherselfdownandcarriedoutfirstaidto

Simmons.

諾伍德和她的朋友們把西蒙斯放到平躺的位置，打開了她的呼吸道。（2021年山東新高考

質(zhì)量測評聯(lián)盟）

4、如釋重負(fù)

（1）Ensuingtheirsafety,Ifeltasurgeoftriumph.（感到一陣勝利的喜悅）

（2）Hearingthenews,Icouldn'thelprestrainingmyexcitement.（情難自抑）

⑶Itthrilledustohearthegoodnews（聽到新消息很高興）.

（4）Onhearingthegoodnews,TomandIsighedingreatrelief（如釋重負(fù)地嘆了口氣），grinning

merrilyateachother.

第三步：救人之后(感激+升華)

1、感激

(1)如果我沒有得到急救，我就會死了。西蒙斯感激地對諾伍德說。(2021年山東新高考質(zhì)

量測評聯(lián)盟)

“IfIhadnotbeengivenfirstaid,Iwouldhavedead."SimmonssaidtoNorwoodgratefully.

SimmonsshowedhergratitudetoNorwood,saying“Itwasyouwhocametomyaidandsavedmy

life/9西蒙斯對諾伍德表示了感謝，她說：“是你來幫助我，救了我一命。”(2021年山東新

高考質(zhì)量測評聯(lián)盟)

(2)“謝謝你進入我的世界，我會永遠(yuǎn)記住你為我所做的?！蔽髅伤箤χZ伍德說。(2021年

山東新高考質(zhì)量測評聯(lián)盟)

“ThankyouforenteringmyworldandIwillalwaysrememberwhatyouhavedoneforme.”

SimmonswhisperedtoNorwood.

2、升華句

(1)花點時間來學(xué)習(xí)急救和心肺復(fù)蘇術(shù)。拯救了生命，而且很有效。

Takesometimetolearntheknowledgeoffirstaid.Itsaveslives,anditworks.

(2)這個故事表明，良好的急救知識真的可以起作用。

Thestoryshowsthatagoodknowledgeoffirstaidcanmakearealdifference.

(3)每個人都應(yīng)該學(xué)點急救知識，因為在緊急情況下每一秒都很重要。

Everyoneshouldlearnsomethingaboutfirstaid,foreverysecondwillcountinanemergency.

(4)了解基礎(chǔ)的急救知識有助于你對緊急情況作出迅速的反應(yīng)。Knowingbasicfirstaid

techniqueswillhelpyourespondquicklytoemergencies.

Part3：靈活應(yīng)用

例1：河中救人

Boysliketobeconsideredtobebrave,butwhatkindofthingscanbeconsideredtobebrave?

Itisnotaquestionthatcanbeansweredbywords,butbytheactualdeed.Aboywiththename

Henrygaveusagoodexample.RonnyandHenryweretwofriendsinthesameclass.Theyalways

playedtogetherandwenthometogether.OnedayasRonnyandHenryweregoinghomeafter

school,theysawsomepeoplefightinginthestreetcomer.Ronnysaidexcitedly,"'Somepeopleare

fighting!Lefsgoandhavealook!”ButHenryrefused,uIt*snoneofourbusiness.We*dbettergo

homeanddon*tgetclosetothem.Alsoourparentsareexpectingtohavedinnerwithustogetherat

homeandIdon*twantthemtoworryaboutme.”

“Youareacoward,andafraidtogo,“saidRonny,andoffherantothespotwithsomeother

boys.Henryhadtogohomealoneanddidn'tthinkaboutitanymore.

ButRonnythoughtHenrywasacowardandtoldalltheboysthat.Theylaughedathima

greatdeal.Fromthenon,theylookeddownuponHenryanddidn'twanttoplaywithhim.

Henrywassadbuthewasn'tangrywithRonnyforhisrudebehavior,becausehehadlearned

thattruecouragewasshownmostinbearingmisunderstandingwhenitwasnotdeserved,andthat

heoughttobeafraidofnothingbutdoingwrong.Thus,hejustignoredtheotherboys'laughter

andcontinuedtosticktohisthoughtandgotoschoolandstudyaswell.However,Ronnydidn't

inviteHenrytogohomewithhimanymore.Instead,hehadhisnewfriendswhoalsothought

Henrywasacoward.Everydayafterschool,theydidn'tgohomedirectlybutwenttotheriveror

somewheretoplaygamesandhadlotsoffun.

注意：

1.所續(xù)寫的短文詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；

2.應(yīng)使用5個以上短文中標(biāo)有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語；

3.續(xù)寫部分分為二段，每段的開頭語已經(jīng)為你寫好；

4續(xù)寫完成后，請用下劃線標(biāo)出你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞語。

Paragraph1:

Afewdayslater,somethingterriblehappenedtoRonny.

Paragraph2:

Atthatmoment,Henryhappenedtopassby.______________________________________

Paragraph1

Afewdayslater,somethingterriblehappenedtoRonny.Thatafternoonafterschool,Ronny

wasbathingwithsomeofhisnewfriendsintheriverhappily.Suddenly,hewasstuckinthemud

andcouldn'tgetout.Hestruggledhardbuthewasstilltrapped.Hescreamedforhelp,butallin

vain.TheboyswhohadcalledHenryacowardgotoutofthewaterasfastastheycould.They

weresoscaredanddidnoteventrytohelphim.

Paragraph2:

Atthatmoment,Henryhappenedtopassby.Heheardthescreamsandrantotheriveras

soonaspossible.SeeingRonnywasalmostdrowned,Henrytookoffhisclothesimmediatelyand

jumpedintothewaterwithoutanyhesitation.HereachedRonnyjustashewassinkingthelast

time.Withgreateffort,andwithmuchdangertohimself,hebroughtRonnytotheshoreintime.

Henrywashappytohelphisfriend,thoughhewasextremelytired.

第1段

幾天后，羅尼發(fā)生了一件可怕的事情。那天下午放學(xué)后，羅尼和他的一些新朋友在河里

快樂地洗澡。突然，他被困在泥里，無法出來。他努力掙扎，但仍然被困住了。他尖叫著呼

救，但都沒有成功。那些叫亨利是懦夫的孩子們盡可能快地離開了水面。他們很害怕，甚至

沒有試圖幫助他。

第2段：

就在那一刻，亨利碰巧經(jīng)過了。他聽到了尖叫聲，就盡快跑到河里去了?？吹搅_尼差點

被淹死，亨利立即脫下衣服，毫不猶豫地跳進了水里。他上次就在羅尼下沉?xí)r，到達(dá)了羅尼。

他費了巨大的努力，對自己也很危險，及時把羅尼帶到了岸邊。亨利很樂意幫助他的朋友,

盡管他非常累。

例2：海邊救人

閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。續(xù)寫的

詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。

OnJuly8,2017,eightmembersofafamilyintotal,wereenjoyinganeveningtogetheratthe

beachinPanhandle,Florida.Asthesunsankloweronthehorizon,thetwoboysNoah,11,and

Stephen,8-swamintothewaveswithoutthegrownupsnoticing.Soontheyrealizedthatthe

oceanhadpulledthemintothesea.Aftertryingandfailingtoswimback,theystartedwavingand

screamingforhelp.Butthelifeguardshadbeenoffdutyfortheevening.

TheboyshadbeenstrugglingforseveralminuteswhenJackyandTabatha,acouplefrom

Georgia,heardthem.Theydivedintothewaterandsoonreachedthetwobrothers.Butafterafew

minutes,theywerealltrappedinaripcurrent（離岸流）一apowerfulonethatcouldsweepeventhe

strongestswimmerouttosea!Bythen,someteenagershadheardthecry.Oneoftheteensrushed

intothewater,grabbedJacky,andpulledhimbacktoshore.Meanwhile,Tabathacouldfeel

herselfbeingpulledfartherout.Shewasalreadyexhaustedandbeginningtofeeldesperateasshe

wastryingtosavebothboysalone.

Onshore,Jackywasterrified.Amanstopped."What'swrong?9,askedShaun,whowas

headingbacktohiscar."Mywifeisdrowning!”Brittanysaid.Shaunimmediatelystrode（大步

跨）intothewater.Butseveralminuteslater,agaping15feetstilllaybetweenhimandTabatha

andtheboys.Heknewthatifhecontinued,he'dbeeanothervictim.Heturnedaroundtoseek

help.

ItwasaboutthattimethatRoberta,theboys5mother,returnedfromthebathroomand

lookedaroundforherchildren.Shewasshockedtospotthemfloatingmuchfartheroutthanthey

wereallowedtogo.Shefoughtthewavestogettoherscreamingsonsandthestrangerwhowas

tryingtosavethem,butshequicklydiscovereditwasnearlyimpossibletomakeheadwayinany

direction.Lookingaround,Robertasighedwithrelieftoseesomemorepeopleingtohelp.

Paragraph1

WhentheytriedinvaintorescuethebrothersandTabath