英語小短劇顧客：小心，你的大拇指在我湯里了服務(wù)員：別擔(dān)心，先生，不是很燙！A:Watchout!Yourthumbsinmysoup!B:Don'tworrySirit'snotthathot!一個(gè)服務(wù)員給顧客拿來了牛排，大拇指在牛肉上?！澳惘偭藛?？”顧客喊到，“你的手在我的牛排上！”“什么？”服務(wù)員說，“你想讓它再掉地上？”Awaiterbringsthecustomerthesteakheorderedwithhisthumboverthemeat.A:Areyoucrazy?(yelledthecustomer),withyourhandonmysteak?(Whatanswersthewaiter)Youwantittofallontheflooragain?服務(wù)員：茶或咖啡？先生。第一個(gè)顧客：我要茶第二個(gè)顧客：我也是茶——杯子要干凈的！服務(wù)員：兩杯茶，哪個(gè)要干凈的杯子？B:(Waiter:)Teaorcoffeegentlemen?A:I'llhavetea.C:(2ndcustomer:)Metoo-andbesuretheglassisclean!(Waiterexitsreturns)B:(Waiter:)Twoteas.Whichoneaskedforthecleanglass?創(chuàng)新句子：我堅(jiān)持用干凈杯子喝茶。服務(wù)員，這只蒼蠅在我湯里干什么？看起來象是在仰泳，A:Waiterwhat'sthisflydoinginmysoup?Umlookstometobebackstrokesir...服務(wù)員，湯里有只蒼蠅！別擔(dān)心，先生，面包里的蜘蛛會(huì)干掉它。A:Waiterthere'saflyinmysoup!B:Don'tworrysirthespideronthebreadrollwillget'em.服務(wù)員，我湯里有只蒼蠅！不是，先生，那是蟑螂，蒼蠅在你牛排里。A:Waiterthere'saflyinmysoup!C:Nosirthat'sacockroachtheflyisonyoursteak.服務(wù)員，湯里有只蒼蠅！別讓別人看見，先生，要不別人都要。A:Waiterthere'saflyinmysoup!B:Keepitdownsirorthey'llallbewantingone.服務(wù)員，湯里有只蒼蠅！我知道，先生，我們沒有另收錢。A:Waiterthere'saflyinmysoup!C:ItsOKSirthere'snoextracharge!服務(wù)員，湯里有只蒼蠅！對(duì)不起，先生，我弄走那三個(gè)時(shí)忘了這個(gè)。A:Waiterthereisaflyinmysoup!B:SorrysirmaybeI'veforgottenitwhenIremovedtheotherthree.服務(wù)員，湯里有只死蒼蠅！是的，先生，是開水殺死了它們。A:Waiterthere'sadeadflyinmysoup!C:Yessirit'sthehotwaterthatkillsthem.話劇前半部分是荊珂刺秦王搞笑英語話劇劇本（Introduction）：Longagotherewasacrazycountry,inthiscrazycountrythereweresomecrazypeople,tryingtoshowthecrazyhistorybycrazyways.MrJingkewasthemostfamousswordsmanandwassenttokillkingofQing,“Yingzheng”.Butfinallyhefailed.Doyouwanttoknowwhathappenedatthattime?Okay,nextshowwilltellyouthetruth.ActionI太子丹（上，掏出鏡子梳頭，做自戀狀）：Mirror,mirror,tellme,whoisthemostprettymanintheworld?(畫外音：It’syou,PrinceDan!太子丹高興狀)Thankumirror!（面對(duì)觀眾）I’mPrinceDan,themagicmirrorsaidIamthemostattractivemanintheworld.ButYingZhengisajealousguy,Ifeelhewillkillmeifmirrortoldhimthetruth.Iamsoscared.SowhatcanIdo?(向幕里大叫)Whereismyminister?阿三(畢恭畢敬):Honey,Iamcoming.太子丹：I’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautiful、graceful、handsome、charming、cute、smartanddearestPrinceDan”!阿三：Sure,honey!Ihaveagoodidea.WecanfindaherotokillYingZheng~~~（作殺狀）太子：Ohyeah~~~.Whatisthemostexpensivecommodityinthiscentury?Talent!（二十一世紀(jì)最需要的是什么，人才！這句話要跟觀眾交流，最好由觀眾來回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做贊許狀）Goodidea!Butwhoistherightcandidate?阿三：AfterscreeningIhavetwopromisingpersonsonhand.OneisMissLiMoChou,theotherisMrJinKe.TomorrowtheywillPKfortheNO1killeroftheworld.太子：Well,showmethewinnerassoonaspossible,OK?阿三：Yes.ActionII（《十面埋伏》中劉德華&金成武決斗時(shí)的音樂）荊軻AreyouLimochou?李莫愁Yes.荊軻OK.I’mJingke,youknow,IwillletyouknowIamthekingofthekillers’world.李莫愁A(yù)reyouchallengingme?荊軻Offcourse!聳聳肩表示同意李莫愁Comeon!音樂起兩人沖上前來“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，兩刀砍死你啊。。。?！崩钅畹沟厍G軻大笑李莫愁痛苦狀：Whathappened?Whyaren’tyouhurt?荊軻:Wedon\'tneedanyreasontowinaperson.Don\'twe?Dowe?（贏一個(gè)人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）李莫愁：Mommaalwayssaid:\"Lifeislikeaboxofchocolates,Mochou.Youneverknowwhatyou\'regonnaget.\"Igotit,Mommaisright.荊軻再次大笑太子丹上（抱拳）：Howareyou?荊柯：Fine,thankyou,andyou?太子丹：OhmyGod!Couldyougivemeaninnovativeanswerto“Howareyou”?荊柯：Sure!太子丹：Howareyou?羊肉串和納稅人（英文小品）Characters:Mr.Shi,Xiaofu,DabaoMr.Shi:Taxisthemajorsourceofthefiscalrevenue.Thereisanevidentchangeabouttherelationshipbetweenthetaxcollectorandtaxpayerinthepast20years.Now,thetaxcollector,Xiaofu,andthetaxpayerDabao,avendorsellingYangrouchuanwillshowyoutheverychange.ThefirstActhappenedin1980s.ActI(inBazaarofBeijing,sanlihe,1980s)Dabao:Yangrouchuan,yangrouchuan,eatenone,wantnine,eatenone,wantnine.Hi,Takemyyangrouchuan.(slipped,takeitup,)Xiaofu:Tax!Paythetax!Dabao:(changefaces)Taxi?Whereisthetaxi?Here’snotaxi.Xiaofu:Tax!T---A---X!Dabao:What’sthetax?Ijustknowtaxi!Doyouwantmetocallataxiforyou?Taxi----!Taxi----!Xiaofu:Enough!Areyouthevendor?Dabao:No,No,No,no!I'mjusthavealook.Thevendorhasgonetothetoilet.Xiaofu:Notthevendor?Impossible!you'vebeenherefor2hours.Dabao:Really?(Xiaofu:Yes,ofcourse.)Howdoyouknowit?Xiaofu:ThewindowofmyofficeisopentohereandI'vebeenlookingatyoufortwohours.Dabao:It’sabigbug!Xiaofu:Oh.Don’twastemytime!Pleasepaythetax----10Yuan!Dabao:10yuan?!Mygod.Ihadjustearned20Yuanoneday!5Yuan,ok?Xiaofu:Don'tcheatme,you'vesoldmorethan2hundredones.Dabao:6yuan,mydearsisiter.7Yuan,mylovelybeauty.Dabao:Notforyou,notforme,let'ssplitthedifference.8yuan,ok?Xiaofu:(lookingaround)Allright,adeal.Butnoreceipt.(Dabaopayed8yuanandXiaofuleft)Dabao:Whatasmartwoman!Badluck!I’mbankrupt.Ihavetochangemyplace.HopeIwouldnotmeetheranymore!Let’sgo!ActIIMr.Shi:Thenextscenehappenedinnewcentury.Chinahadbeenmarchinginthewayofthemarketeconomyfortwentyyearsmore,intheneweraofbuildingthewell-offsocietyinanall-roundway,howdothevendorregardtaxasandhowisthetaxcollected?Thescenewilltellyou.Let’senjoyit!(Inthemarket;Dabaoinwhiteclothes,aboardwith"NOSARS")Dabao::Yangrouchuan,yangrouchuan.Eatenone,wantnine.Eatenone,wantnine.Xiaofu:Hi,Dabao:Hi.Two:Whatafamiliarface.Two:It’syou!Dabao:10yearspast,youareastillataxcollector.Xiaofu:10yearspast,youstillsellYangrouchuan.Howisyourbusiness?Dabao:EverythingisOK!10yearspast,youarestillbeautifulladyinSanliheofBeijing.Xiaofu:10yearspast,youandyourYangrouchuanlookmorecleanthan20yearsbefore.Dabao:Thankyou.NoSARS,nodirtiness;Servepeople,serveme.Xiaofu:Great!Haveyou……Dabao:Married?I‘mnotmarried;I’mstillsingle.Xiaofu:Haveyouclaimedyourtaxthismonth?Dabao:What?Taxi?Oh,tax!Ofcourse.Ishouldpaythetaxof50YuanthismonthandIhaveclaimedatthebeginofthismonth.Xioafu:Yourreceipt,please.Dabao:(showsthereceipt)Hereyouare,Ihavepaidmytaxinthetaxservicecenterbycomputer.Xiaofu:Great!Whatagoodtaxpayeryouare.Dabao:Thankyou.Itismyduty.I’mproudofmyselftopaythetaxforourcountry.Xiaofu:Yeah!Thetaxyoupaidisashareofourcountry’se