專題二讀后續(xù)寫第二節(jié)指導(dǎo)篇(本欄目對(duì)應(yīng)學(xué)生用書P383)第3講

如何做到續(xù)寫與原文高度融合

歷年讀后續(xù)寫的原文都是引人入勝的好故事，或助人、或趣事或遇險(xiǎn)，跌宕起伏，但都離不開情節(jié)線和情感線這兩條線。而故事的發(fā)展、情節(jié)的推動(dòng)都與這兩條線息息相關(guān)，續(xù)寫部分的情節(jié)線和情感線的發(fā)展應(yīng)和原文兩線一致，達(dá)到兩“情”相悅。比如下面這個(gè)真題續(xù)寫部分的情節(jié)線應(yīng)圍繞梅瑞狄斯太太和她的三個(gè)孩子幫助貧困家庭的伯納德賺錢的故事展開，而情感線的體現(xiàn)應(yīng)以“共情”和“高興”為主。【典例示范】閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

TheMeredithfamilylivedinasmallcommunity.Astheeconomywasindecline，somepeopleinthetownhadlosttheirjobs.Manyoftheirfamilieswerestrugglingtomakeendsmeet.Peopleweretryingtohelpeachothermeetthechallenges.

MrsMeredithwasamostkindandthoughtfulwoman.Shespentagreatdealoftimevisitingthepoor.Sheknewtheyhadproblems，andtheyneededallkindsofhelp.Whenshehadtime，shewouldbringfoodandmedicinetothem.Onemorningshetoldherchildrenaboutafamilyshehadvisitedthedaybefore.Therewasamansickinbed，hiswife，whotookcareofhimandcouldnotgoouttowork，andtheirlittleboy.Thelittleboy—hisnamewasBernard—hadinterestedherverymuch.

“Iwishyoucouldseehim，”shesaidtoherownchildren，John，Harry，andClara.“Heissuchahelptohismother.Hewantsverymuchtoearnsomemoney，butIdon’tseewhathecando.”Aftertheirmotherlefttheroom，thechildrensatthinkingaboutBernard.“Iwishwecouldhelphimtoearnmoney，”saidClara.“Hisfamilyissufferingsomuch.”

“SodoI，”saidHarry.“Wereallyshoulddosomethingtoassistthem.”

Forsomemoments，Johnsaidnothing，but，suddenly，hesprangtohisfeetandcried.“Ihaveagreatidea！Ihaveasolutionthatwecanallhelpaccomplish(完成).”

Theotherchildrenalsojumpedupallattention.WhenJohnhadanidea，itwassuretobeagoodone.“Itellyouwhatwecando，”saidJohn.“YouknowthatbigboxofcornUncleJohnsentus？Well，wecanmakepopcorn(爆米花)，andputitintopaperbags，andBernardcantakeitroundtothehousesandsellit.”注意：1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；2.請(qǐng)按如下格式在相應(yīng)位置作答。WhenMrsMeredithheardofJohn’sidea，shethoughtitwasagoodone，too.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Shenoddedwithasmileandencouragedthechildren.“Let’sgetstarted！”Immediately，Claravolunteeredtogettheboxofcornandbegantomakepopcorn.Meanwhile，Johnwenttopurchasesomepaperbagsandputallthepopcorninplace.Afterthat，MrsMeredithwithherchildren，

paidanothervisittothefamilytotellthemaboutthepopcornplan.Seeingthepopcornarrangedinabasket，

Bernardandhisparentswereoverwhelmedwithexcitementandgratitude.

Witheverythingready，Bernardstartedoutonhisnewbusiness.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Althoughthingsweretightforeverybody，Bernard’sbusinessworkedoutamazinglywell.Carryingthebasket，hewentdoortodoortosellthepopcorn.Surprisedtoseesuchapoorly-dressedboysellingpopcornattheirdoors，peoplewouldbuyonepackortwo.Onreturning，

hethankedtheMeredithfamilywithwateryeyes.Later，everyweekBernardcouldmakesomemoneybysellingpopcorn.ItislovethatmakestheworldgoaroundandBernardfeltitdeepinhislittleheart.

【四步成文】第一步

把握原文大意

明主旨和兩線文本大意在社會(huì)經(jīng)濟(jì)蕭條的環(huán)境下，梅瑞狄斯太太和她的三個(gè)孩子幫助貧困家庭的伯納德賺錢的故事。原文兩情線情節(jié)線：梅瑞狄斯太太樂于助人→孩子們聽了伯納德一家的情況→約翰想到了“爆米花計(jì)劃”情感線：caring，willing，helpful→sympatheticandeager→upset→excited敘事意圖通過敘述一個(gè)助人為樂的故事表達(dá)人與人之間的愛、互幫互助和善行。第二步

據(jù)兩首句信息

確定續(xù)寫方向

1.兩段首句定一框由所給的第一段首句中關(guān)鍵信息“agoodone”及所給的第二段首句中關(guān)鍵信息“everythingready”可知，本段可敘述“爆米花計(jì)劃”的準(zhǔn)備過程；告知伯納德該計(jì)劃；伯納德一家對(duì)該計(jì)劃的反應(yīng)。

2.二框二首正能量由所給的第二段首句中關(guān)鍵信息“everythingready”和“startedoutonhisnewbusiness”可知，本段發(fā)展方向應(yīng)該是伯納德開始“爆米花計(jì)劃”，情節(jié)可以是特別順利，也可以是開始不順利，但在孩子們的幫助下克服了困難；由正能量結(jié)尾可知，最終爆米花都賣出去了，伯納德賺到錢補(bǔ)貼家用。第三步

原續(xù)兩“情”相悅

合理添加細(xì)節(jié)

1.兩“情”相悅續(xù)寫部分情節(jié)線的走向：梅瑞狄斯太太樂于助人，伯納德接受幫助→實(shí)施“爆米花計(jì)劃”→雙方得償所愿續(xù)寫部分情感線的走向：激動(dòng)→感激

2.添加細(xì)節(jié)

(1)動(dòng)作細(xì)節(jié)：續(xù)寫第一段添加孩子們?nèi)〕鍪迨逅偷挠衩祝瑴?zhǔn)備紙袋的動(dòng)作細(xì)節(jié)，呼應(yīng)原文伏筆。

(2)情感細(xì)節(jié)：刻畫伯納德一家的激動(dòng)、感激的情感時(shí)，尾句可描寫伯納德的心理活動(dòng)，升華主旨。第四步

沿原語言特點(diǎn)

完美連貫表達(dá)原文利用簡單句、并列句、非謂語動(dòng)詞和主從復(fù)合句，描寫動(dòng)作、對(duì)話和社會(huì)環(huán)境，故續(xù)寫部分可沿用原文特點(diǎn)?？衫胊fterthat，later，onreturning，although恰當(dāng)過渡銜接?！炯磿r(shí)演練】閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

“Whysheletoutmysecret？Whyshedidthattome？”IvividlyrememberedthatdaywhenIwasconfusedattheknowinglookswhicheveryonegaveme.Thatterribleexperiencewasimprinted(銘刻)onmymind.Icouldn’tforgivethepersonwithwhomIhadsharedmysecret.Shelostallmytrustandfriendship.

Fiveyearsback，Sallywasanewadditioninourclass.Idon’tknowwhatbuttherewassomethingstickyaboutherthatattractedmetowardsher.ShewasthemostfriendlypersonIknew.Westartedasclassmatesbutafterafewmonthswewerelikebestfriends.Wedidhomeworktogetheranddreamedofgoingtothesameuniversityoneday.Wehungoutandwenttothemoviesonweekends.Thatwasasweettime.Nevertheless，Icouldn’texpectsuchanenormousbetrayalfromher.Ididn’tknowwhatmademetellSallyaboutmypersonallife.Ifeltmuchregrettomyself.Sheexaggerated(夸大)thematter，addedherownspicestoitandmadeitthehottesttopicinschool.Itwaslikesomeonehadstabbedaknifeinmyback.Aftersherevealedmysecret，everyoneatschoolstartedlaughingatmeandgazingatmewhereverIpassed.Iwaslikeapondinwhichsomeonehadthrownastoneandithadbeenspilledup.ItwasthemostembarrassingtimeIhadgonethrough.Soonafterwards，Ileftschoolandshiftedtoanotherone，becauseIthoughtnoonehadtherighttolaughatme.SallycalledmemanytimesbutIdidn’tanswer.MyheartwasbrokenbecausethepersonwhomItrustedmostcheatedme.

Imadeeffortstoremovethescarfrommyheart.Istartedanewlife，leavingallthebadmemoriesbehind，becausetheymademeapersonwhooftenthoughtaboutthepastexperiences.Fiveyearslater，withthelifegoingon，Imadenewfriendsandseldomthoughtaboutthepast.注意：

1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；

2.請(qǐng)按如下格式在相應(yīng)位置作答。ButonedayImetAnnainthemarket，myformerclassmate，whotoldmeshockingnews.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________AnnasaidthatafterIleftschoolthegossipsoondisappeared.Everyoneinourclassmissedme.BecauseIleftwithoutsayinggoodbye，Sallywassadforalongtime.Andtomyamazement，shetoldmethatSallywasnottheonewhobroughtmysecrettolight.ItwasMarywhohadabigmouthandalwayswantedtoputhernoseinotherpeople’smatters.ShehappenedtooverhearmyconversationwithSally.Iwasallatsea，feelingthatthefloorhadslippedawaybeneathmyfeet.Anxiousandregretful，IaskedAnnaforanycontactwithSally.

IimmediatelycalledSallyinordertoexplainthemisunderstanding.

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