1、A Soldier's Brilliant IdeaMr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found allof them had already had been takenexcept fo

2、r one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it.When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is pr

3、eserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in.Two or three people t

4、ried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succe

5、ededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip.英語幽默：士兵坐飛機有美女陪伴的高招由于生意方面的事,羅賓遜先生得出趟門.由于有點緊急,他決定坐飛機.乘機旅行時,他 喜歡靠窗坐,故而一登機,他就尋找一個靠窗的座位.他發(fā)現(xiàn)只有一個靠窗的座位還空著.在那空座位邊坐著一名士兵.令羅賓遜先生納悶的是, 這位士兵沒有坐靠窗的位置. 羅賓遜先生不管那些,他馬上徑直朝那個空座位走去.然而,等到了那兒,他看見座位上有那么啟事,是用鋼筆寫的：為保持裝載平衡,特預(yù)設(shè)該位置,謝謝合作.羅賓遜先生還從來沒有在飛機上見過如此不同尋常的啟事.不過,他

6、想 飛機上一定裝了什么特別重的物品,于是他找了個不靠窗的位置.又有兩三個乘客試圖坐在那個士兵旁的靠窗座位上,他們看到那那么啟事就走開了. 當(dāng)快滿座時,一位非常美麗的姑娘匆匆走進機艙.一直在注意進艙旅客的那個士兵趕緊拿掉他旁邊空座位上的啟事.士兵用這種方法,成功地找到了一位姑娘一路作伴.故事一:One night a hotel caught fire, and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes.一天晚上,一家旅館失火,住在這家旅館里的人穿著睡衣就跑了出來.Two men stood outside

7、and looked at the fire.兩個人站在外面,看著大火.Before I came out, said one, I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money. People don't think of money when they're afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in a fire, the fire burns it. So I took all the bills that I could find. No one will be poor

8、er because I took them.在我出來之前,其中一個說,我跑進一些房間,找到了一大筆錢.人在恐懼中是不會想到錢的.如果有人把紙幣留在火里,火就會把它燒成灰燼,所以我把我所能找到的鈔票都拿走了,沒有人會由于我拿走它們而變得更窮.You don't know my work, said the other.你不知道我是干什么的,另一個說.What is your work?你是干什么的I'm a policeman.我是警察.Oh! cried the first man. He thought quickly and said, and do you know m

9、y work? No, said the policeman.噢！第一個人喊了一聲,他靈機一動,說：那你知道我是干什么的不知道.警察說.I'm a writer. I'm always telling stories about things that never happened.我是個作家,我總是愛編一些從未發(fā)生過的故事.故事二:Three competing store owners rented adjoining 毗連的shops in a mall. Observerswaited for mayhem成心的傷害罪,蓄意的破壞to ensue.三個互相爭生意的商店老

10、板在一條商業(yè)街上租用了毗鄰的店鋪,旁觀者等著瞧好戲.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, Gigantic Sale! and Super Bargains!右邊的零售商掛起了巨大的招牌,上書：大減價 ！特廉價！The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, Prices Slashed! and Fantastic Discounts!左邊的商店掛出了更大的招牌,聲稱：大砍價 ！大折扣！The owner in the middle then prepared a

11、large sign that simply stated, ENTRANCE.中間的商人隨后準(zhǔn)備了一個大招牌,上面只簡單地寫著：入口處.故事三:A crowd of student was gathered on the campus of Oxford University.You can have nodoubt, “ shouted a young man excitedly, that if the Dean does not take back what he said to me this morning, I 1l leave Oxford this very evening

12、!A buzzing noise followed. What a man of actions ! one said in admiration. How should we support him and learn from him ! said another.Suddenly, a girl asked, What did the Dean say to you, Hob? He bent and whispered to her, Well,er?er?Miss Rose, er?he told me to get clean away from Oxford this very evening !一個言出必行的人