讀后續(xù)寫講評教育、親子互動類（thealbum）閱讀下面材料,根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段,使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。ItwasalazySundaymorning,thetypeofdaythatgettingoutofbedrequiresaneffort.WhenMarilynandIenteredthekitchen,Loriwasalreadyatthetabledoingherhomework.Seeingusing,she,suddenly,stoodandfacedme,"WhyaretheremorepicturesofLisathanthereareofme?"sheasked.Lisaisourolderdaughter.Istaredback,notunderstandingthequestion.Loriturnedandlefttheroom.Caughtoffguardbythequestion,IlookedatMarilyn."AretheremorepicturesofLisathanofLori?"Marilynshruggedandraisedhereyebrowsinamotionofpuzzlement."AreyouawarethattherearemorepicturesofLisathanLori?"Iadded.Marilynsaid,"I’venevercountedthem.Idon'tknow."Marilyn'sanswerwasthesameasmythoughts,"Ihadn'trealizedthattherewasanysignificantdifference.NowwhywouldLoriasksuchaquestion?"Iasked.Marilynjustshookherheadandstaredbackatme.Afterafewminutesofthoughtshesaid,"WhenLisawasborn,youweretakingphotographs.Youhardlywentanywherewithoutacamera.WhenLoriwasborn,youwereinvolvedincoloredslides(幻燈片).TheremustbehundredsofslidesofLorisomewhereinthehousethatLorihasneverseenordoesn’tremember."AfterdigestingMarilyn’sremarks,Iagreed."AfterLorileaves,we'lllookforthoseslides.Whoknows,wemayfindmoreslidesofLorithanpicturesofLisa,"Ijoked.Laterthatafternoon,whenwewerealone,wewentintothebasementwherewehadstoredtheboxesthatwehadbroughtfromourprevioushome.Itwasn'tlongbeforewediscoveredthetraysofslides,andfortherestoftheafternoonwelookedateachtray,pointingoutthoseslidesthathighlightedLori."Whatareyougoingtodo?"Marilynasked."It’sherbirthdayinafewweeks,"Isaid,"We'llselectaboutonehundredslideswithLoriandconvertthemintopictures,putthemintoanalbumandgivetoherasagift.Idon'tknowifthealbumwillanswerherquestion,butatleastshe'llknowthatwecareenoughtofindherananswer."注意：1.續(xù)寫字數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。Overthenextfewdays,wesecretlywentthroughallourslides._________________________OnNovember24,beforeleavingforwork,Iopenedherdoorandslippedthealbuminside.___________________________________________________________________________Learningobjectives:Bytheendofthisperiod,studentsareexpectedto1.developagoodhabitofimprovingtheirworksafterwritingandhavetheabilitytodoit.2.haveabetterunderstandingofthegivenmaterialbyexploringthestory,thetheme,andthepossibleending.3.buildamorereasonableplotbyfocusingonthekeyinformationandclues.4.developtheabilitytogiveanobjectiveassessmentoftheirwritingbygettingsomeinformationaboutgradingcriteria5.Knowhowtoreviseandpolishuptheirwritingbygraspingsomepracticalskills.LeadinQ1.Howmuchtimedoyouspendoncontinuationwritingintheexam?Q2.Whatdoyouusuallydoafterwriting?Q3.Whatexactlyshouldwedoafterwriting?Firstdraft__________________________________________FinaldraftStep1Reread(Tip1圈劃關(guān)鍵信息和重要情節(jié)，預(yù)測結(jié)局)ReadforthestoryReadforthethemeReadfortheending/echoWhoWhenWhereWhatThemeEnding/EchoStep2Rethink(Tip2根據(jù)提示句的關(guān)鍵詞確定續(xù)寫主要情節(jié),使用正推+反推法列出簡綱)Thinkabouttheplot（所見、所聞、所說、所做）Thinkabouttheemotion（所思所想）Para1:Overthenextfewdays,wesecretlywentthroughallofourslides.時間，地點，人物，人稱情節(jié)（正推+反推）情感Para2:OnNovember24,beforeleavingforwork,Iopenedherdoorandslippedthealbuminside.時間，地點，人物，人稱情節(jié)（正推）情感Step3Reflect(Tip3checklist自評/互評)評分要點：1）與所給短文及段落開頭語的銜接程度2）內(nèi)容、語法結(jié)構(gòu)、詞匯的豐富性和準確性3）上下文和語句間的連貫性考查：閱讀（讀懂原文）、邏輯思維（情節(jié)設(shè)計）、寫作能力（詞匯句式）學生初稿Para1.Overthenextfewdays,wesecretlywentthroughallourslides.Wechosemanypiecesofslidesandconvertedthemintoalotsofdelicatepictures.InordertopreventusfrombeingfoundbyLori,wedidthemwhileLoriwassleeping.Ihopedthatitcanbeabigsurprise.Icautiouslyputthesedelicatepicturesintoanalbumandmakepreparationsforherbirthdayparty.Iinvitedherfriendsandtheywerealsowillingtohelpus.Everythingwasalready.Assessment:1)________________2)_________________3)___________________Para2.OnNovember24,beforeleavingforwork,Iopenedherdoorandslippedthealbuminside.Loriwasstillsleeping.ThenIsilentlyleftherroomandexceptedhowshewouldthink.WhenIcamehome,LorirantomeandgavemeIbighugandsaidtomehappily.“Mum,nowIhavemorepicturesandevenoverLisa.Iamveryhappy.Thanksmum.”Iwasalsoveryhappyandsaidtoher“Now,wecanstartyourbirthdaypartyandeatcakes.”Loriwasexcitedandjumpedaroundme.Assessment:1)________________2)_________________3)___________________Step4ReviseTips1.詞匯和句型盡量不重復(fù)2.增加形容詞和副詞3.加入一些連詞，增強連貫性4.使用定語從句和非謂語動詞5.增加細節(jié)描寫（所見、所聞、所說、所做、所想）微技能：1.心理描寫我開心Iamhappy.(換主語）Asenseofdelight/happinessseizedme.(加并列）Asenseofdelightandexcitementseizedme.(加形容詞/副詞）Instantly,astrongsenseofdelightandexcitementseizedme.2.動作描寫hugsb/givesbahug/throwone’sarmsaroundsbpatsbontheback/shoulder/headgently3.由“看/聽/想”到動作/情緒/思緒看到面前可愛的小狗，男孩的臉上立刻煥發(fā)光彩。Seeingthecutedoginfront,theman’sfacelitupimmediately.聽到我的話，他興奮地跳了起來，點頭同意。Atmywords,hejumpedtohisfeetwithexcitement.聽到久違的笑聲，我感到一股暖流涌上心頭。Hearingthefamiliarlaughter,Ifeltasurgeofwarmthwellingupinmyheart.一想到這里，他決定改邪歸正，把歸還給失主。Atthethoughtofthis,hewasdeterminedtomendhiswaysandreturnittotheowner.修改潤色Para1.Overthenextfewdays,wesecretlywentthroughallourslides.Wechosemanypiecesofslidesandconvertedthemintodelicatepictures,__________remindedusofthe__________dayswithour______daughter(定從，形容詞).Atthatmoment,__________________________________________________.(心理描寫)InordertoavoidbeingdiscoveredbyLori,wedidthesewhileLoriwassleeping，________thatitcanbeabigsurpriseforher（非謂語).________(連詞)allthepictures_________cautiously_________intothealbum,everythingwasready.（被動）Para2.OnNovember24,beforeleavingforwork,Iopenedherdoorandslippedthealbuminside.Ileftherroomsilently,______________howshewouldreactafterfindingthealbum(非謂語).WhenIcamehomeafterwork,Loriran__________（副詞）tomeandgavemeabighug,_______________inadelightedtone,“Dad,Iloveyou!Thankyousomuchforeverythingyouhavedoneforme!”Upon__________________whatshesaid,I________________________________（動作描寫）andletoutasighofrelief.Thenweopenedthethickalbumwhileenjoyingthedeliciouscake,laughter_________________thewholeroom.佳作賞析para1.Overthenextfewdays,wesecretlywentthroughallofourslides.WhilepickingouttheonesofLori,thesweetmemoriesfloodedback,remindingusofthehappylifewithourlovelydaughter.Atthatmoment,awaveofhappinessrippledovermyheart,tearsstreamingdownmyface.AfterthecarefulselectionMarilynhadthenconvertedintophotos.Itwasnotlongbeforethephotoswerereturnedandthenweplacedthemintoanalbum.Inaddition,Iattachedabirthdaycardtoitwiththeintentionoftellingherhowimportantsheistous.WithLori’sbirthdayapproaching,MarilynandIdecidedtohideituntilherbirthdayandgiveherabigsurprise.para2.OnNovember24,beforeleavingforwork,Iopenedherdoorandslippedthealbuminside.Afteraday’stiringwork,Idraggedmyfeetbackhome.Uponseeingmeback,Lorirushedstraighttowardsmeandthrewherarmsaroundme,sobbing.Then,atinyvoicecamefromher,“Iloveyou,Daddy.I’msorrytohavemisunderstoodyou.”Ihuggedhertightlyandpattedherontheback,sayinginafortingtone,“It’sOK,sweetheart.YouknowMommyandIloveyoutoo.”ItwasthenthatIrealizedIhadgottheanswerandourmessageoflovehadbeenreceived.