2024年1月浙江高考讀后續(xù)寫Eva

spentthefirstweekofhighschooltryingtokeepherheadabovewater.Oneofthemajorheadachesforherwasfindingherwayinthehugeschoolbuilding.Itwasa

sixstorybuilding.Oneachfloor,hallwaysstretchedinfourdirections,leadingtoclassrooms,laboratories,andteachers'offices.Somewhereinthebuilding,therewasalsoalibrary,acafeteria,andagym.Havingapoorsenseof

direction,Evafounditimpossibletogetaroundinsuchahugebuilding.Allthedifferenthallwaysandroomsweretoomuchtothinkabout,letalonemittomemory.Shedecidedthatshewould

memorize

whereherclasseswereandthenpretendthattherestoftheplacedidn'texist.InherfirstPEclass,Evawasshockedwhen

coachPitt

announcedthateveryonehadtorun

onemile

aroundthetrackoutside.Shesearchedthefacesofherclassmatesforsignsofpanic.Therewasnothingshefearedmorethanhavingtorunawholemile.ToEva,"amile"wasusedtodescribelongdistances.Itwastenmilesfromherhometohergrandfather's,andthatalwaysseemedlikealongway,eveninacar!WhenCoachPittblewhiswhistle(哨子),Evafiguredshewouldbeleftinthedust.However,whilesomeofherclassmatesedgedahead,othersactuallyfellbehind."It'sjustthebeginning,"shethought."I'lleinlastforsure."SoonEvabegantobreathehard,withherheartpoundingandlegsshaking.Feelingdesperate,Evastartedusinga

mindtrick

onherself.Shestoppedthinkingabouttheword"mile."Instead,shefocusedonreachingtheshadowcastonthetrackbyanoaktreeupahead.Thenshe

concentrated

onjoggingtothespotwherethetrackcurved(拐彎).Afterthat,shetriedtoseeifshecouldpleteherfirstlap.Onelapturnedintotwo,thenthree,thenfour.Paragraph1:WhencoachPittsaid"Nicework!"toheratthefinishline,Evawassurprised.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph2:Evadecidedtousethesametricktodealwiththeschoolbuilding.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

1

文本故事梗概中學生活第一周，Eva同學正在努力適應新環(huán)境，時常迷失在縱橫交錯的教學樓走廊中。體育課上，Pitt教練要求學生在操場上跑完一英里。這項任務讓Eva感到驚慌，因為對她而言，一英里是很長的距離。面對困境，她用心理戰(zhàn)術(shù)（mindtrick）鼓勵自己，通過關(guān)注操場上一棵橡樹的樹影來轉(zhuǎn)移注意力。同時，Eva將一英里的挑戰(zhàn)細分成若干個小圈，每個小圈都是她能夠掌控的小目標。這種方法奏效了。在她全神貫注地逐個擊破這些小目標時，四圈早已悄然完成，終點就在眼前…

2

續(xù)寫策略建議很容易看出，原文中的主要人物是新生Eva。體育老師Pitt則是次要人物。第一段續(xù)寫的重點應該放在Eva跑完1英里之后的內(nèi)心感受描寫上。當然，從給出的首句“Nicework!”可以看出，Pitt應當和Eva有一定的語言和動作上的互動。續(xù)寫的難點在第二段，也就是具體Eva如何把這種mindtrick運用到識記錯綜復雜的6層教學樓當中。這段續(xù)寫想要做到合理，寫作必須緊密聯(lián)系Eva在跑一英里過程中所使用的mindtrick的核心:拆分任務（divideandconquer）化整為零（breakdownthewholeintoparts）.寫作示范WhencoachPittsaid"Nicework!"toheratthefinishline,Evawassurprised.

Shehadexpectedtobethelastonetofinish,butthereshewas,receivingpraisefromthe

coach.Gaspingforair,withsweatdrippingdownherface,sherealizedshehadacplishedsomethingshethoughtwasimpossible.Thesenseofachievementwasoverwhelming.Asshestoodthere,catchingherbreath,Evareflectedonherjourneyaroundthetrack.Itwasn'tjustaboutpleting

onemile,itwasaboutoveringherfearandpushingpastherperceivedlimitations.Thisexperiencewasapowerfulreminderthatshecouldachievemorethanshehadevergivenherselfcreditfor.Evadecidedtousethesametricktodealwiththeschoolbuilding.

Justlikeshehad

concentrated

onsmall,achievablegoalsduringher

onemile

run,shebegantobreakdowntheschoolmapintosmaller,manageablesections.Insteadoftryingto

memorize

theentirelayoutatonce,shestartedbyfamiliarizingherselfwiththeareasaroundherclassrooms.Gradually,herunderstandingofthe

sixstorybuilding

grew.Daybyday,themazeofhallwaysandroomsbecamelessintimidating.Evalearnedthat,whetheronthetrackorinthecorridorsofherschool,takingthingsonestepatatimewasthekeytooveringherfearsandchallenges.默寫版：WhencoachPittsaid"Nicework!"toheratthefinishline,Evawassurprised.

Shehadexpectedtobethelastonetofinish,_______________________但她在那里，受到了教練的贊揚._____________________________________________________她喘著粗氣，汗水順著臉往下滴，意識到自己完成了一些她認為不可能完成的事情.Thesenseofachievementwasoverwhelming.Asshestoodthere,____________________________________________________________伊娃喘著粗氣，回憶起她繞跑道的旅程.Itwasn'tjustaboutpleting

onemile,itwasaboutoveringherfearandpushingpastherperceivedlimitations.___________________________________________________這段經(jīng)歷有力地提醒我們，她可以取得比以往任何時候都更大的成就.Evadecidedtousethesametricktodealwiththeschoolbuilding.

Justlikeshehad

concentrated

onsmall,achievablegoalsduringher

onemile

run,______________________________________________________________她開始把學校地圖分解成更小、易于管理的部分.Insteadoftryingto

memorize

theentirelayoutatonce,shestartedbyfamiliarizingherselfwiththeareasaroundherclassrooms.Gradually,herunderstandingofthe

sixstorybuilding

grew.___________________________________________________________________一天比一天，迷宮般的走廊和房間變得不那么嚇人了。Evalearnedthat,________________________________________________________________無論是在跑道上還是在學校的走廊里，一步一個腳印是克服恐懼和挑戰(zhàn)的關(guān)鍵.01寫作細節(jié)分析WhenCoachPittsaid"Nicework!"toheratthefinishline,Evawassurprised.

Shehadexpectedtobethelastonetofinish,butthereshewas,receivingpraisefromthe

coach.（必要的主要人物和次要人物之間的互動）Gaspingforair,withsweatdrippingdownherface,sherealizedshehadacplishedsomethingshethoughtwasimpossible.（合理的細節(jié)描寫：Eva不擅長跑步，跑完后大汗淋漓、氣喘吁吁）Thesenseofachievementwasoverwhelming.（合理的情感描寫：獲得了成就感）Asshestoodthere,catchingherbreath,Evareflectedonherjourneyaroundthetrack.Itwasn'tjustaboutpleting

onemile,itwasaboutoveringherfearandpushingpastherperceivedlimitations.（反思跑步成功的原因，為下文找到記憶錯綜復雜的教學樓做鋪墊)

Thisexperiencewasapowerfulreminderthatshecouldachievemorethanshehadevergivenherselfcreditfor.Evadecidedtousethesametricktodealwiththeschoolbuilding.

Justlikeshehad

concentrated

onsmall,achievablegoalsduringher

onemile

run,shebegantobreakdowntheschoolmapintosmaller,manageablesections.（和原文高度互動：跑完一英里的關(guān)鍵是Eva專注于拆分后的若干小任務）Insteadoftryi