705TheYoungandtheNurse:For2monthshe'sbeenlyinghereinacomahelpless.Whatarehischancesdoctor?Doctor:NotNurse:We'restilltryingtolocatehisDoctor:SeeinghimlikethisitjustmakesmerealizeIloveyouDeanndra.Director:Andcut!!Craps!!Mike:Artie!Artie!What'dyouthink?Artie:Ilaughed,Icried,you'reonat5.Mike:Thanks.Kate:Mike:Kate:YouwereMike:Ohthankyou,youknowI'mreallygettingintothiscomastuffandIthinkpeoplearereallystartingtonotice.Mr.Checken:NicecomatodayMike:ThankyouMr.Checken,thatmeansalotcomingfromyou.Lennette:CastilleFlackman,headwriter,itisapleasure.Mike:Iseeyournameonthecreditseveryweek.Mr.Checken:Sweetheartyouwanttogetmeacupofcoffeeandripthetopoffamuffin.Kate:DoIwanttoMike:Excuseme,honeyIthinkhewantstotalktomealone.Justthisonce.Lennette:We'vebeensoimpressedwithyourperformance,youareStraughnWaverly,thewayyouhaveexploredtexturesandtheinternalharmonics.Mr.Checken:YeahRight!Ditto!Ihopeforyoursakeyoucankeepasecret.Mike:YeahYeah,what'sthis?Lennette:TheepisodeAmerica'sbeenwaitingMike:Carol!Carol!IneedyoutowatchmedomylineandtellmewhatyouCarol:Mike!LeavemeMike:IfImakeenoughmoney,I'llmoveout.Carol:I'mallears.Justmakeitfast.Mike:Ok,letmegiveyousomebackground.Nowin1974,TaylorPalmerance,thepatriarchofGreenValleydisinheritedhis3sons,Frisco,Corrigan,andCarol:DoanyofthemknowyourMike:That'snotmyline,I'mgettingprepared.Carol:Mike!!Mike:CruzBannister.Carol:Wellwhat!??YoulaidthereandMike:Nonono,Carolthatwasthenameofthemurderer.Butyou'rerightIcandomuchbetterthanthat.CruzBannister!!Well?Carol:Theypayyouforthis!!??Aspeckofprotoplasmcoulddobetter.Mike:Ok,you'reright,you'reright.WhatwasIthinking?You'restillontherespirator.CruzBannister.Maria:HowdyCarol:OhShutup!Bran,letmeappealtoyouasahumanbeing.Bran:Cool.Carol:YouseeI'mfallingbehindinmystudies,Ican'tstudyathomebecausemybrotherkeepsrehearsinghisstupidsoapoperalineandIcan'tstudyherebecauselikeyou'reaninsensitiveboob,andmyacademicperformanceissuffering.Iamsuffering,andallIamaskingfromyouisalittlebitofhumanBran:Carolyouhavenevermentionedthisbefore,yourbrotherisonasoapopera!??Whichone,whodoesheplay!!??Carol:Idon'tknow,Idon'tcare,hejustliesthereandbreathes.Bran:Ah!!MyroommatesbrotherisStraughnWaverlythethird.Students:Who'sbrother!??Bran:Carol,myStudent:Ididn'tknowyouhadaroommate!Bran:Girls,CarolSeaverStudent:HowdowereallyknowthatyoubrotherisStraughnWaverly!??Student:Yeah!!??Carol:Well,Ifheweren'tontheshow,howwouldIknowthenameofthemurderisCruzBannister.Bran:CruzBannister!!??ThemurderisCruzBannister!!??That'sit!AH.Student:Caroldoyouthinkyoucantakeustoseetheshow?Carol:Hey,I'mhisactingcoach.Students:Alright!!!Luke:There,IalmostgotChrissy:Wheredidyoulearnsomuchaboutfixingdolls?Luke:Iwasasurgeonatadollhospital.Chrissy:YouwereLuke:Ohyeah!!??WhenchattyKathylosthervoice,whodoyouthinkgothertalkingagain?WhenBetsyWetsydriedupliketheSahara,whodoyouthinkopenedupthefloodgates?AndwhenMyLittlePonygotthetrots,whodoyouthinkgotherbackontrack?Let'sseewellit'sasgoodasnew.Chrissy:ThanksLuke,whenI'mallgrownupyoubetterwatchout!Mike:HeyLuke!WhatareyoudoingdressedupinBen'sweenysuit?Luke:IwanttomakeagoodimpressionontheKimbell's.Mike:SoyouaredressinglikeBen?Thesepeopledon'tlikeyouthewayyouare,thentheheckwiththem.Goupstairsthrowonsomejeans.Carol:Kate:Whoa!ThisdressingroomisMike:Kate,lookatthis!!?Mysofa,mywastepaperbasket,andlookatthismychairwithmynameonit.Kate.MarkMike:Can'thaveeverythinghaha.Glen!!Youremembermygirlfriend?Glen:Canit!Badnews.Lennete:StraughnStraughn,we'vere-writtenyourwholescene.Mike:You'rekidding!?DoIstillwakeup?Lennette:Ofcourse,butyoudon'tsayCruzBannisteranymore,nowyousayBrookSunderfield.Mike:He'sthemurderer?Lennette:She.Mike:Wow!Thisisacurveball!Uhh..BrookSunderfield…IsthatGlen:Isthiskidatrooperorwhat!!??BlowitandIyankoutyounosehair!Mike:Uhh,whydidyouchangethenameofthemurderer?Lennette:SomeserpentinourmidstgavethenameCruzBannistertotheColumbiaUniversitypaper.Glen:ThemoreIthinkaboutit,themoreIwouldliketopoptheweaselthatdidMike:Ohh,kidsLennette:Straughn,bettergetintowardrobe,rolltapeinfiveminutes.Mike:Ok,right.Glen:Youneedanything,youletmeknow.Ok,Ican'tthinkofaKate:OhIcan,thismayseempettybutErnieputmarkonthechair.Glen:Saynomore,Ernie'shistory.He'sfired!!Mike:Nono,justmaybechangethenameonthechair,don'tfireanybody.Glen:Well,ok...Mike:Kate:Ill,sorrylookingMike:Hello?StraughnWaverlythethird.Luke:Yeah,helloisMikeSeaverMike:Yeah,Luke,it'smeMike.Iwasjustgettingintocharacter,what'sup?Luke:Lookyou'vebeenstraightwithme,feltIowedyouagoodbye.Mike:Agoodbye,heylistenpalyou'rejustmovingacrosstown.Luke:I'mleavingtown,.Mike:Luke,whereareyouLuke:I'llspendthewinterinFlorida,don'tworryI'llbefine.Announcer:Sorryfortheinterruption,allbuseswillbeboarding….Mike:Lukedon'tdothis!Luke:I'lllookyouupsomeday.Mike:Luke!Kate:What'sMike:Kate,callthebusstation,findoutthenextbusthatleavesanywhereforKate:Mike,Iknowyouarenervousabouttoday,butrunningawayisn'ttheMike:NoKate!I'mnotrunning,Lukeis.Artie:5minutesMr.Seaver.Mike:GetGlenonthatIgotaproblem.Artie:Glen,thekid'sgotaproblem!!Lennette:Straughn,whyaren'tyouinMike:LookisthereanywaywecanputthisofftillLennette:Impossible!TomorrowyouleadtheSWATteamtothemurderer'slairwithyourshirtoff.Mike:MaybewecanjustdelayitforanhourorGlen:Entertainmenttonightishereforcryingoutloud!!BeaMike:Lookthere'sthisboythat'sbeenlivingwithourfamilyandhe'sabouttorunbackdowntothestreetsandIamtheonlyonewhocanstophim.Glen:EntertainmentKate:There'sabustoFortLauderdalein20minutes.Mike:Ok!Ok!SoIcanbebackin..Lennette:Waitaminute,sothisboyhasbeeninyourhomeandnowatthemomentoftruthyourheartgoesouttohim.It'swonderful.Mike:SocanILennette:No!!Butthatstorylinescreamsdaytimenanny.Kate:Can'tyoujustlethimgo!!?Glen:Issheanybody!?Lennette:No!!Glen:Thissceneshootsin5minuteswithyouinthatLennette:StraughnIhavedesignedwholestorylinesaroundyou,thisisaonceinalifetimeopportunity.Mike:Iknow,Iunderstand.LookIhaveanidea,whataboutifweputadummyinthebedtodayandtomorrowI'llcomebackanddotheshirtlessSWATthing.Glen:Howaboutthis?NomoreStraughn!You'refired!!!Mike:AreyouGlen:It'ssosimple,staynotfired,leavefired,history,outofheredeepsixed.Mike:Igottogo.Glen:Well,there'sthedoor..You'refired!!!Nonono,youwouldn'tunderstandpeoplecryandthrowthemselvesatmyfeetandbegmetohirethembackwhenthey'refiredandyou'refired!!!Mike:IheardGlen:ListenIlostmyhead,you'renotfired,we'llworksomethingout.Mike:Thanks.Glen:Andnowthatyouareworkingformeagain…You'refired!!!Bing!!Bam!Boom!You'reout!Something'swrong,I'mnotenjoyingit.Lennette:Forgethim,he'sobviouslynotGlen:Ofcoursenotbecausehe'sfired!!Hedoesn'tevenexist,infactIdon'tevenknowwhoI'mtalkingto.Nobody'sthere,I'mtalkingtoair.Mike:Uhh,lookKateIneedtofindmyjacket.I'llbebackassoonasIcan.Kate:Don'tworryaboutme,justgo.I'mproudofyouMarkSeaver.Artie:CanIhelpCarol:Yes,I'mlookingforMikeSeaver.Artie:Neverheardofhim.Carol:Wellhe'sonthisshow,Ishouldknow,I'mhisArtie:Excusemetoots,I'veonlybeenwiththisshowsinceitwascreatedyouknow?Youdon'tbelieveme,yougoasktheproducerthere.Glen:You'refired!!Fired!!Fired!!Doyouunderstand!!??Carol:Hi,I'mlookingforMikeSeaver.Glen:MikeSeaver!??There'snoMikeSeaver.ThereneverwasaMikeSeaver.There'sjustair!Air!Student:IsmellaCarol:Wait,Icanproveit,themurderer'snameisonpage14.BrookBran:IknewCruzcouldn'thavedoneCarol:WaitthisisMike!Lookthisismybrother.Lennette:Whatareyourkidsdoinghere?Carol:Wearenotkids,wearestudentsfromColumbiaUniversity.Lennette:Security!!Mike:Excuseme.Excuseme.Luke:It'sbusy!Mike:Luke!?Luke:Mike!!?Mike:Hey.Luke:Whatareyoudoinginhere?You'resupposetobeinacoma.Mike:Comeonlet'sgetoutofhere.Luke:Ican't,I'lllosemyfreeMike:What!?You'regoingtorideallthewaytoFloridainarestroom!?Luke:Beat'shangingonthebackofaskateboard.Mike:ComeOn!Comeon!Let'sgo!JustletmeMike:LikeI'mgoingtoletyouwanderthestreetswhileIleadtheSWATteamtothekillerwithmyshirtoff.BusDriver:FortLauderdaleexpress,getcomfortableorgetoff!!Mike:Luke,whatwaswrongwiththeKimbell's?Luke:Idon'ttrustamanwhousesapopsiclesticktofixacat.Mike:I'mserious,whatwaswrongwiththeKimbell's!!??Luke:I'mjustgettingtiredofgettingusedtopeopleandhavingthemditchme.Mike:Ditchyou!?Luke:Yeah,mydadslitwhenIwas2,mymomdiedandyouguysMike:Us!??Lookhowgreatyoufitinwithus!!?Imeanonlyafteramonthyouwerepartofourfamily.Luke:NotMike:Driver,stopthisBusDriver:BlowitoutofMaggie:Jason.Jason.Iheardanoisedownstairs,maybeLuke'sback,areyouMike:Mom!Dad!I'msorryit'ssolate,butI'