續(xù)寫題目Manyyearsearlier,mymotherknewthatshecouldnotsendmetocollegeandpayforit.Sheworkedinaretailstoreandmadejustenoughtopaythebillsandtakecareoftheotherchildrenathome.IfIwantedtogotocollege,itwasuptometofindouthowtogetthere.

IfoundthatIqualifiedforsomegrantsbecauseofthesizeofourfamily,mymom’sincomeandmySATscores.Therewasenoughtocoverschoolandbooks,butnotenoughforroomandboard.Iacceptedajobaspartofawork-studyprogram.Whilenotattractive,itwasoneIcoulddo.Iwasheddishesintheschoolcafeteria.JustwhenIthoughtIwasgoingtodropoutofmycollegecareer,anangelappeared.Well,oneofthosethatareonearth,withoutwings.“Iheardthatyouneedsomehelp,”hesaid.“Whatdoyoumean?”Iasked,tryingtofigureoutwhichareaofmylifehemeant."Financially,tostayinschool.”“Well,Imakeitokay.Ijusthavetroubleworkingallthesehoursandfindingtimetostudy.”“Well,IthinkIhaveawaytohelpyouout.”Hewentontoexplainthathisgrandparentsneededhelpontheweekends.Allthatwasrequiredofmewascookingmealsandhelpingthemgetinandoutofbedinthemorningandevening.Thejobpaidfourhundreddollarsamonth,twicethemoneyIwasmakingwashingdishes.NowIwouldhavetimetostudy.Iwenttomeethisgrandparentsandacceptedthejob.Myfirstdiscoverywashisgrandmother’sgreatloveofmusic.Shespenthoursplayingherold,off-keypiano.Oneday,shetoldmeIdidn’thaveenoughfuninmylifeandtookituponherselftoteachmetheart.Grandmawasimpressedwithmyabilityandencouragedmetocontinue.Weekendsintheirhousebecamemorethanjustbooksandcooking,theywerefilledwiththewonderfulsoundsoftheout-of-tunepianoandtwoveryout-of-tunesingers.Paragraph1WhenChristmasbreakcame,Grandmagotachestcold,andIwasafraidtoleaveher.Paragraph2Theenvelopewasfromgrandmawhohadjustpassedaway.

續(xù)寫嘗試Paragraph1WhenChristmasbreakcame,Grandmagotachestcold,andIwasafraidtoleaveher.So,Idecidedtopayheravisit.The“angel”answeredthedoorandledmetoherbedroomwhereasmallgauntfigurewithfurrowedbrowslayquietlyonthebed.Myhearttwitched.Hearingus,Grandmaopenedhereyes.“Honey,happyholidays!Haveyoupacked?”,shesmiledweakly.Icamecloserandheldherhand,“Iwanttobewithyou,Grandma.”Shepattedmyhandgently,“Don’tworrydear.Yourfamilymustmissyou.Go.IpromiseI’llseeyousoon.”

Shelied.WhenIreceivedthatsoul-crushingphonecall,suddenly,theworldseemedtohavelostitscoloruntilaletterfoundourdoor.

Paragraph2Theenvelopewasfromgrandmawhohadjustpassedaway.Init,shetoldmehowproudshewasofmeandhowmuchshelovedme.Herwordswerelikeawarmembracethatenvelopedmeinloveandcomfort.AsIreadtheletter,Icouldhearthesoundoftheoldpianointhebackground.Itwasoutoftune,butitdidn’tmatterforitwasareminderofallthewonderfultimeswehadspenttogether.Inasplitsecond,I

thoughtIsaw,throughmyblurryeyes,Grandmasittingatthepiano,herfingersmovinggracefullyoverthekeys.Then,shelookedupatmeandsmiled.AtthatmomentIknew,inherownway,Grandma

hadkeptherpromise.續(xù)寫精析“The“angel”answeredthedoorandledmetoherbedroomwhereasmallgauntfigurewithfurrowedbrowslayquietlyonthebed.”Angel應(yīng)門，呼應(yīng)原文稱呼，銜接上句邏輯，然后緊接著把主角引到grandma的房間中。關(guān)系副詞where引導(dǎo)的定語從句說明房間內(nèi)的情況。asmallgauntfigurewithfurrowedbrowslayquietlyonthebed.

這句話用了4處細(xì)節(jié)體現(xiàn)出grandma此刻的狀態(tài)。small&gaunt，病痛折磨下的祖母顯得，身材弱小而面容瘦削。gaunt：牛津verythin,usuallybecauseofillness.Withfurrowedbrows眉頭緊鎖，暗示grandma胸痛的嚴(yán)重，無時(shí)不刻都在疼著，所以眉關(guān)難以撫平。Layquietly祖母很喜歡彈鋼琴，但此刻她卻安靜地躺在床上，進(jìn)一步讓讀者感知grandma的狀態(tài)。Myhearttwitched.twitch：牛津ifapartofyourbodytwitches,orifyoutwitchit,itmakesasuddenquickmovement,sometimesonethatyoucannotcontrol痙攣；抽搐；抽動(dòng)進(jìn)入房間，看到病臥的祖母，身形消瘦，眉頭緊鎖，主角的心不由自主地抽動(dòng)，“祖孫”感情之深，一詞足矣。Hearingus,Grandmaopenedhereyes.“Honey,happyholidays!Haveyoupacked?”,shesmiledweakly.Grandma這個(gè)人物我是偏愛的。正如原文中所塑造，我希望續(xù)寫中能體現(xiàn)出她堅(jiān)毅、善良、理解和睿智。盡管續(xù)寫第二段提示，grandma已然離主角遠(yuǎn)去，但我希望她生前身后，都能像一束溫暖的光一樣。所以，我的第一段，grandma聽到動(dòng)靜醒過來，看到主角，虛弱的微笑著。雖然自己已經(jīng)病重，但言語中則是對后輩的關(guān)切，“節(jié)日快樂孩子，東西收拾好了嗎？”Icamecloserandheldherhand,“Iwanttobewithyou,Grandma.”人物互動(dòng)，視角流轉(zhuǎn)自然。我看到grandma的情況，聽到她的關(guān)心，上前握住了她的手。這個(gè)握手的動(dòng)作，手的溫度，溫暖的是彼此的心。Shepattedmyhandgently,“Don’tworrydear.Yourfamilymustmissyou.Go.IpromiseI’llseeyousoon.”先握手，才能后拍手。邏輯完美，且動(dòng)作進(jìn)一步豐滿人物形象?！皠e擔(dān)心孩子，你的家人肯定很想你。回吧，我保證我們很快就能見面?！盙randma知道孩子心理糾結(jié)，故而溫和地解開心結(jié)。grandma知道自己時(shí)日無多，但依然承諾與孩子他日相逢，給孩子希望。這是何等的愛，何等的情。Shelied.一句話，兩個(gè)詞，讀者已心領(lǐng)神會(huì)。至深的情感，至誠的觸動(dòng)，至簡的表達(dá)?！八f謊了。”當(dāng)一個(gè)人離開，很多時(shí)候，我們不會(huì)去思考這整件事的影響，不會(huì)聽別人說，“節(jié)哀順變”，而是緊緊揪住他沒有說完的那句話，沒有看成的那場電影，沒能成行的那個(gè)旅程。自然也包括她沒有信守的那個(gè)承諾。這一刻