專題二讀后續(xù)寫第二節(jié)指導(dǎo)篇(本欄目對應(yīng)學(xué)生用書P383)第5講

如何做到合理結(jié)尾在讀后續(xù)寫中，第二段結(jié)尾至關(guān)重要，除揭示故事結(jié)局外，還應(yīng)與原文伏筆呼應(yīng)，使人覺得在情理之中。常用結(jié)尾方式有以下4種：

1.哲理式結(jié)尾：總結(jié)文章中心，通過哲理性的語言結(jié)尾點明中心，升華主題。通過以小見大、從物到人、由事及人等方式升華文章主題。

2.正能量結(jié)尾：結(jié)尾句呼應(yīng)原文主題，且一定要體現(xiàn)正能量。

3.以景結(jié)情：在續(xù)寫中通過寓情于景的描寫，使所寫環(huán)境和人物心情相照應(yīng)。

4.自然結(jié)尾：順著文章所敘之事自然發(fā)展，以其必然結(jié)果結(jié)尾，簡單自然?！镜淅痉丁块喿x下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。A

Vacation

with

My

Mother

Ihadaninterestingchildhood：Itwasfilledwithsurpriseandamusements，allbecauseofmymother—loving，sweet，andyetabsent-mindedandforgetful.OnestrangefamilytripwetookwhenIwaseleventellsalotabouther.MytwosetsofgrandparentslivedinColoradoandNorthDakota，andmyparentsdecidedtospendafewweeksdrivingtothosestatesandseeingallthesightsalongtheway.Asthefirstdayofourtripapproached，David，myeight-year-oldbrother，andIunwillinglysaidgood-byetoallofourfriends.Whoknewifwe’deverseethemagain？Finally，themomentofourdeparturearrived，andweloadedsuitcases，books，games，campingequipment，andatentintothecarandbravelydroveoff.Webravelydroveoffagaintwohourslaterafterwe’dreturnedhometogetthepurseandtraveller’schecksMumhadforgotten.

DavidandIwerealwaysalittlenervouswhenusinggasstationbathroomsifMumwasdrivingwhileDadslept：“YoustandoutsidethedoorandplaylookoutwhileIgo，andI’llstandoutsidethedoorandplaylookoutwhileyougo.”Ihadterriblepicturesinmymind：“Honey，wherearethekids？”“What？！Oh，Gosh…Ithoughttheywerebeingawfullyquiet.”Wewereneveractuallyleftbehindinastrangecity，butweweren’tabouttotakeanychances.Onthefourthorfifthnight，wehadtroublefindingahotelwithavacancy.Afterdrivinginvainforsometime，Mumsuddenlygotagreatidea：Whydidn’twefindahousewithalikely-lookingbackyardandaskifwecouldsetupatentthere？DavidandIbecamenervous.Toourgreatrelief，Dadturneddowntheidea.Mumnevercouldunderstandourobjections.Ifastrangefamilyshoweduponherfrontdoorsteps，Mumwouldhavebeendelighted.Shethinkseveryoneintheworldasniceassheis.Wefinallyfoundavacancyinthenexttown.注意：1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；2.請按如下格式在相應(yīng)位置作答。Thenextdaywerememberedthebrand-newtentwehadbroughtwithus.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Butthenwewerehalfanhourawayfromthehotel，wherethetentwasleftbehind.Dadrecommendedbuyinganewone，whileMuminsistedonourgoingbacktofetchit，

saying，“Forgetfulpeoplelikememaylosethingsrepeatedly，soit’sunwisetogiveupthetent.”Finally，wegotbackthetentandhittheroadagain.IfMumhadn’tbeenthatabsent-minded，

itwouldhavesavedusthetroubleofgoingbackagainandagain.

Wedrovethroughseveralstatesandsawlotsofgreatsightsalongtheway.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Oneday，towardsevening，wefoundagreatcampingsiteatthefootofahighmountain.DavidandIhelpedDadputupthetent，andMumwasbusypreparingsupper.Whenthesettingsuncastanorangelightoverthemountains，

thetentwassetupandthemealwasready.Sittingaroundthecampfire，wetalkedandlaughed.Everytimewementionedthefunnyincidentsofthejourney，

apleasantsmilewouldspreadoverMum’sface.

【四步成文】第一步

把握原文大意

明主旨和兩線文本大意我們一家四口去祖父母家途中，由于母親的健忘發(fā)生的趣事。原文兩情線情節(jié)線：和朋友道別裝好車出發(fā)→兩小時后返回家中取落下的東西→途中用衛(wèi)生間各種擔(dān)心→找旅店期間媽媽萌發(fā)搭帳篷的想法→找到旅店住宿情感線：unwilling→forgetful，surprised→nervous→amused→relieved敘事意圖通過敘述旅行趣事體現(xiàn)媽媽的性格：forgetful，loving，sweet，并體現(xiàn)快樂、母愛和親情。第二步

據(jù)兩首句信息

確定續(xù)寫方向

1.兩段首句定一框

(1)首句銜接段首語中的“brand-newtent”結(jié)合媽媽健忘的性格可描述，媽媽把帳篷落在酒店，接著敘述返回酒店取帳篷。

(2)尾句可描寫作者的感受。

2.二框二首正能量

(1)首句銜接段首語“greatsights”，可在第二段描述自然風(fēng)景。

(2)尾句正能量說明媽媽的性格“l(fā)oving”和“sweet”。第三步

原續(xù)兩“情”相悅

合理添加細(xì)節(jié)

1.兩“情”相悅續(xù)寫部分情節(jié)線的走向：帳篷落在酒店→返回酒店取帳篷→接著開車→欣賞風(fēng)景→找個地方宿營；續(xù)寫部分情感線的走向：anxious→relieved→happy→peaceful→sweet。

2.添加細(xì)節(jié)

(1)動作細(xì)節(jié)：根據(jù)原文“意外不斷”的基調(diào)，可敘述媽媽因健忘發(fā)生的趣事與第一段“surpriseandamusements”呼應(yīng)。

(2)環(huán)境細(xì)節(jié)：續(xù)寫第二段可通過描述景色烘托人物愉悅的心情，體現(xiàn)“親情”和“與媽媽一起的趣事”。第四步

沿原語言特點

完美連貫表達(dá)原文利用簡單句、并列句、非謂語動詞和主從復(fù)合句，進(jìn)行了大量的動作描寫、心理描寫及一定的環(huán)境描寫，對話描寫不多因此續(xù)寫部分可適當(dāng)?shù)乩貌⒘芯洹⒎侵^語動詞和主從復(fù)合句進(jìn)行動作和心理描寫，突出媽媽的性格特點?！炯磿r演練】閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

Barbara，Chad’slovinggrandma，pennedachildren’sbookwhichillustrateshowfriendshipoutdoesmaterialwealthindepth，alessonasrelevanttodayasitwaswhenBarbarafirstwroteitfiftyyearsago.

Asatreasureinherheart，Barbaralongedtopublishherworks.Shehadhadshotsatmakingcontactwithpublishersthroughvariouschannels，butendlesseffortsanddevotionwereturnedintocountlessrejections.WithinBarbara’sheart，awaveoftorment(痛苦)wasashelplessasAliceinabottomlesshole.Shekeptalltheseletters，perhapsasareminderofherdream，inafolderthatrepresentedbothhopeanddisappointment.Yearslater，Chadbecameasociableandresponsibleadultwithfriendsfromallwalksoflife.Oneday，heoverheardthedreamofhisgrandmafromhisfatherandknewwhatGrandmahadthought.UnderstandingthesignificanceofthebooktoGrandma，Chadresolvedtotakethebullbythehorns.ThefirstthingwastogetthedraftfromGrandma.Onasunnyafternoon，withgentlewindclickingthroughtreebranches，herushedtohisgrandma’shouse.Whenhepushedthedooropen，hiseyessettledonarockingchair，wherearayofsunshinecastingitssoftbrillianceontheweatheredbutpeacefulface，creatingasweetatmosphere.“Grandma.”Hisvoice，thoughquiet，carriedasenseofreassurance(寬慰)thatwasdeeplyfelt.AfterhearingChad’sidea，sheworeahopefulandrelievedsmile.Slowly，shefishedoutthedraft，handingitovertoChad.

Seeingthedraftlyinginhishand，hefeltaheavyburdenwasputonhisshoulder.Wouldhefailtocompletethemission？WhatifGrandmafeltdisappointedagain？Whowouldbewillingtohelphim？Suddenly，afaintvoiceinhisheadcarryingamessageofhopebroughtcomforttohim.Alex，abookeditor，popped(突然出現(xiàn))intohishead.注意：1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150個左右；2.請按如下格式在相應(yīng)位置作答。Instantly，hephonedAlexandmadeanappointment.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Inacaféwithsoftmusicon，Alexhadasmallamountofcoffee，thenattentivelyleafingthroughpageswithhisminddrawnintotheplot，leavingChadasrestlessasantsonahotpan.Thismoment，atouchofslightchangeonhisfacewouldtugChad’sheartstrings.Notlongafterwards，asmilewasplayingonhislips，“Animpressivedescription！Consideritdone.”Eyesfilledwithgratitude，Chadjumpedtohisfeet，grabbingAlex’shandstightly，alumpinhisthroat.

Onesunnymorning，Chadgotanice-packageddelivery.

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